Politically Incorrect Football: Preseason Predictions

Dear football fans far and wide,

Yes, the 2010 NFL Season is upon us. Seven new players have been inducted into the Hall of Fame, the preseason has kicked off with a meaningless contest between the Bengals and the Cowboys, and Terrell Owens has found a new way to whore himself out to the media. This means that it's time for the annual predictions. Lord knows I don't want to wait to see how the preseason plays out, lest there be more reason to declare any of my biased and uninformed predictions utter bullshit.

So here and now, brought to you by JB Sports Chat, Davemurphy's Politically Incorrect Football 2010 NFL predictions. I strongly recommend against using these predictions as the basis for any cash wager of any sort.

THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

NFC EAST
Washington Redskins (10-6)
Okay, everyone knows I'm a shameless Redskins fan. But the arrival of what I've dubbed "the Irish trio" George Allen, Mike Shanahan, and Donovan McNabb, ought to shake up the NFC a bit this year.

New York Giants (9-7)
There are enough African names on the Giants' defense for it to be colonized by Belgium.

Dallas Cowboys (8-8)
There is nothing I hate more in sports than Tony Romo. Nothing at all.

Philadelphia Eagles (5-11)
Hey, remember when we ditched our future Hall of Fame quarterback for some unproven youngster and a guy best known for murdering dogs? Don't think that's gonna work out for you.

NFC NORTH
Green Bay Packers (11-5)
Despite a soft defense, I really think the Packers will overcome the utter banality of being in Wisconsin in the winter.

Chicago Bears (7-9)
This team rests entirely on Jay Cutler. This is basically like resting the future of the Republican party on Sarah Palin. Everyone knows it won't work except the people who really need to know it.

Minnesota Vikings (7-9)
Favre Shmavre. This team will have the bottom fall out from under them unless they unleash their sleeping giant... Iowa farm Jew Sage Rosenfels. He is the future.

Detroit Lions (6-10)
The only NFC team never to make the Super Bowl will slightly improve on their 2-30 record over the last two seasons. Their win total is the only thing in town lower than their employment rate.

NFC SOUTH
New Orleans Saints (12-4)
Hurricanes, oil spills, crime spikes, depopulation, rising water levels... this city's entire future is currently hanging on the good fortune of Drew Brees and the Saints.

Atlanta Falcons (9-7)
QB Matt Ryan is coming into his own. If he doesn't get lost in Atlanta's 28-county maze of suburbs, he might get them into the win column a few times.

Carolina Panthers (5-11)
Oh, man this team is going to be bad. They lost their defense in the offseason, and they're going to be quarterbacked by some new kid from accounting.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-13)
Losing is just the culture when you're a Tampa Bay Buccaneer. It's just what they do. Affirmative action head coach Raheem Morris won't last the season.

NFC WEST
Arizona Cardinals (13-3)
Matt Leinert will pick up where Kurt Warner left off. He's going to marry his androgynous high school sweetheart and have 8 kids.

San Francisco 49ers (11-5)
Throwback coach Mike Singletary is slowly whipping the team into shape. Just PLEASE don't pull your pants down this year.

Seattle Seahawks (7-9)
USC Powerhouse coach Pete Carroll comes into the NFL to destroy his coaching legacy. Seattle has only ever been good when the entire rest of their division was downright awful

St. Louis Rams (6-10)
Speaking of downright awful, Saint Louis has won six games in the last three years. Any improvement is welcome in Saint Louis.

AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

AFC EAST
New York Jets (12-4)
I love Matt Sanchez. No gay. But I kind of want to spoon with him.

Miami Dolphins (8-8)
I'll be in Miami for the first half of the season, so expect three months worth of insults about what an awful city it is down there.

New England Patriots (8-8)
There's a lot of aging talent on this team. They're still good, but I have a feeling reality will check in, like when you finally realize that you're the oldest guy at the club.

Buffalo Bills (1-15)
Man, what a depressing state of affairs. CJ Spiller is supposed to be the future of the team. But wouldn't it have been so much funnier if he had gone to New Orleans? Those jokes just write themselves.

AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens (11-5)
The Ravens finally have a pair of wide receivers for QB Joe Flacco. The postseason will be rife with purple camouflage and people mispronouncing the letter "O".

Cleveland Browns (9-7)
This is an absolutely awful prediction. But I have a lot of faith in GM Mike Holmgren. His amorphous gut and midwestern chic walrus 'stache assure that he is a fish in water in Cleveland. A fat, ugly fish in very polluted Lake Erie water.

Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7)
This is just a bad prediction. Don't pay any attention to it. The Steelers are going to be better than this in 2010. I'm really not very good at this.

Cincinnati Bengals (6-10)
After the preseason game, a reporter asked Terrell Owens, with him and Chad Ochocinco vying for attention in the passing game, "if there would be enough balls to go around". Have you seen their end zone dances? I don't think there's a shortage of balls on this team.

AFC SOUTH
Houston Texans (10-6)
They get just a little better every year. I mean, except for the East Texas part.

Indianapolis Colts (10-6)
The curse of the Super Bowl loser will take a bite out of the 2010 Colts. But I'm sure Peyton Manning will find a way to work that into a commercial for whatever awful product he's hawking.

Tennessee Titans (10-6)
After starting 0-6 last year, the team won 8 of 10 to finish the season with an even record. Way more even than the team's criminal record.

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-13)
Why does Jacksonville have a football team when places like Los Angeles, Portland, San Antonio, San Jose, Mobile, AL, Laramie, WY, Fargo, ND, and Putney, VT don't?

AFC WEST
San Diego Chargers (14-2)
Let's face it, winning this division will be easier than a depressed sorority girl.

Kansas City Chiefs (8-8)
RB Jamaal Charles is going to lead the league in rushing. And you don't even know who he is.

Denver Broncos (5-11)
There are already injuries plaguing this team, and I'm pretty sure that with the time difference it's still only May in Colorado.

Oakland Raiders (3-13)
They'll be awful, but watch them because owner Al Davis' senility is getting to be very entertaining.

POSTSEASON PREDICTIONS

WILD CARDS: New York Giants, San Francisco 49ers, Indianapolis Colts, Tennessee Titans

AFC Championship: Chargers over Ravens

NFC Championship: Cardinals over Saints

Super Bowl: Cardinals over Chargers

I'm continuing my streak of saying the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl. Four short weeks before the NFL starts proving me wrong and Joe Buck's awful on air ass kissing lowers my sperm count. Yes, in just about a month, you can stop pretending you care about soccer and baseball and get back to what really keeps the sports world ticking.

Until next time, don't bet on my picks and enjoy the return of America's past time. And by that I mean getting drunk and cursing fans of your rival team while you're at the bar.

Your prognosticating genius,

Davemurphy

Pickup Soccer on Film: Pelada

Pickup soccer is born of a love for the game. In a way, it is a forum for self-expression - an addictive, joyful, occasionally painful, and almost always fun and surprisingly competitive place. It's a web of interwoven and evolving philosophies of self, constituting style set within a commonly-accepted framework of a substance defined by attacking and defending. It's not bland functionality of pass, dribble, shoot, but a blossoming example of human creativity and decision-making within narrowly-constructed rules. In Pelada, we witness two former college players explore the global phenomenon of soccer at the pickup level.

This couple - Luke Boughen and Gwendolyn Oxenham - is the narrative heart of Pelada. Both had hopes of going pro. Boughen has begun to move on from this dream. Oxenham, however, dwells on what could have been and wants at least one more chance. For better and worse, each view their international interactions through their respective prisms. The two travel from country to country seeking and playing in pickup games - Buenos Aires, Casola Valsenio, Nairobi, Tokyo, Jerusalem, Tehran, and more. The fields range from concrete to grass to dirt and back. What shines through, no matter where they are, is the universal love of the game. If you have a ball and a friend, you can play. And if you can play, you will.

Erich Braun, a former University of Notre Dame star, makes an appearance in the film and discusses his inability to become a professional soccer player, despite alleging that he was better than others who became professional players in Germany. Rather than explore this theme with "why?", the question becomes whether Braun has given up hope. He has. Pelada's only fault is the frequent narrative presumption of a professional/failure dichotomy that comes across as a Hoop Dreams-lite for soccer.

But Pelada's fault is minimal. Its exploration of the game is neither psychological nor geopolitical. Director Ryan White rightly shies away from the latter - this is not "How Soccer Explains the World." Regardless, the cultural subtexts of the myriad locales make themselves apparent in Oxenham's and Boughen's inherent whiteness and the reactions to Oxenham's gender. Both race and gender matter in a visit to a La Paz prison game and gender plays a major role (obviously) in the duo's trip to Iran. Across many of the countries visited, however, skill on the pitch is what matters most, and, in the end, it's the shared joy of a simple game that makes this film.

This is cross-posted at Beatbots.

Thierry Henry leaves Premier League for MLS; Can Red Bulls Capitalize on Beckham-like Acquisition?

- photo credit Matthews/AP, via NY Daily News

This week, failed French hero and 32-year-old forward for the Tottenham Hotspurs (English Premier League) announced he has signed with the New York Red Bulls of Major League Soccer. The headline from most casual soccer fans is that Thierry Henry has thus officially declared himself a has-been by signing with the much weaker MLS (even 28-year-old U.S. star Landon Donovan is having second thoughts about ending his remaining prime years in Los Angeles).

But the question for MLS fans is whether signing an aging-but-star striker like Henry, fresh off a disappointing World Cup performance, will yield better results for NY than the signing of former Real Madrid/Man U star David Beckham did for LA. For those of you who have been wondering why you haven't heard about Beckham recently, other than watching him look depressed (and yet dapper) on the sidelines while England got served by Germany, the $32 million Galaxy player tore his Achilles tendon while on loan to AC Milan, and is out for the whole season. Injury and fitness issues have plagued Beckham's time at the Galaxy, as have questions about his commitment given multiple loans and perceived lack of effort, infamously earning him boos an an altercation with a fan.

Will the story be different for Henry, who also formerly played for a perennial Premier League contender (Arsenal) and in La Liga (Barca)? Or will he suffer similar problems of ego, age, and inflated fan expectations? Just as Beckham entered a club that already featured a star at the same position (Donovan at midfielder), so too will Henry, who will be teammates with fellow striker and frequent Golden Boot contender Juan Pablo Angel. With a new soccer-specific stadium and an impressive season thus far from a previously bottom of the barrel team (the Red Bulls are second in the East, a decent enough performance to make the playoffs), the timing is right for the New York club to really make a push as a real soccer town. Whether Henry will be a key part of that push shall be determined very soon.

The Wiz Officially Sign John Wall

While the basketball world copes with Cleveland's pain, LeBron's narcissism, Dan Gilbert's psycho ex-girlfriend routine, and how the Heat will actually have a full roster, the Washington Wizards accomplished something big: the Wizards signed John Wall, officially.

Craig Stouffer of the Washington Examiner has more details:

The Wizards signed three of their draft picks -- No. 1 pick overall John Wall, Trevor Booker and Hamady N'diaye -- and they renounced the rights to free agents Mike Miller, Josh Howard and Randy Foye.

Furthermore, the Wizards finalized the Hinrich trade. Now, the Wizards have three point guards: John Wall, Kirk Hinrich, and Gilbert "Guns-no-Ammo" Arenas. It's early in the trading season and the Wizards still need two more players on their roster with roughly $10 million in cap space.

Are the Knicks Entering the 21st Century?

UPDATE - Walsh has denied rumors that he is leaving the Knicks.

Peter Vecsey of the New York Post is reporting that Knicks president Donnie Walsh "may possibly retire" within the week because of "health" and "a failure to land LeBron James."  The article goes on to suggest that former Portland GM Kevin Pritchard is the front runner to replace Donnie Walsh.

This is an interesting, and dare I say, an exciting development for the Knicks.  Prior to his dismissal by Portland, Pritchard was widely considered to be a top five GM in the league. While he might be most famous for taking Oden over Durant, Pritchard did a spectacular job of taking a terrible Portland team (the "Jail Blazers") filled with bloated contracts and bad personalities (sound familiar Knick fans?) and putting together a solid, if not championship contending roster. (This link is to a great article about Pritchard).

While Walsh may have done a good job of shedding the Knicks of bad contracts and at least putting us in a position to sign LBJ, I am not sure that he is the man that you want to conduct the rebuilding of your franchise.  By losing out on LBJ, the Knicks will have have to actually use skill and talent evaluation to build a contender.  I would much rather have Pritchard orchestrating the trade of Eddie Curry's expiring contract in January than an aging Walsh who has never been a great talent evaluator.  I think Prtichard's energy, hunger, and desire to show Portland that they were CRAZY for firing him will be great for the Knicks.

All the best to Donnie Walsh, and lets hope that his health really isn't a huge issue, but it will be nice to see the Knicks with a GM who will take us into the 21st century.

Miami Thrice is a Stupid Name

A Scientific Survey about LeBron James

Given the relentless speculation and the fact that the media is reporting rumors as fact regarding the LeBron James announcement, and given LeBron's hugely narcissistic hour-long announcement circus, and given the pendulum-like nature of which team is in the lead to gain LeBron's services for the next few years, I conducted an extremely scientific survey of one former Cleveland resident to determine what LeBron's seemingly imminent (at least for right now) departure means for all of Cleveland, Ohio, and perhaps the Midwest in general.

1. If the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the heart of Cleveland, what building or neighborhood best symbolizes the back of Cleveland where LeBron can plant the knife?

Former Cleveland Resident:

That would have to be the Slavic Village. Oh. I thought you said the backside of Cleveland. The backbone has to be the Cuyahoga River. We'll go with that because it has the consistency of the back fat that so many Clevelanders have, and when LeBron pulls out the knife, maybe someone will have the good sense to set his hand on fire. Where's BP when you need it?

2. In the long run, where would a potential LeBron departure rank in terms of Cleveland Sports Disasters?

Former Cleveland Resident:

I actually already ranked this today. A LeBron departure in and of itself wouldn't be so high (everyone has kinda been expecting it for two years). It would be the fact that he staged an hour-long show just to tear everyone's hearts out. In fact, there will probably be a moment, not unlike when Lisa Simpson broke little Ralph Wiggum's heart, where you could pinpoint the moment the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame starts to explode.

1. Art Modell turning the Browns into the least likable team in the NFL (and them winning a Super Bowl three years after leaving)
2. LeBronapocylapse
3(tie). The Drive
3(tie). The Fumble
5. Jose Mesa
6. The Shot
7. Any of the MLB playoff collapses to the Red Sox
8. Red Right 88
9. Delonte West meeting Gloria James
10. Ten Cent Beer Night (who am I kidding? That was great. My dad's old boss still has second base from that night in his office.)

3. What will be the term that comes to describe a LeBron departure? I.e., the "Backstab," the "Betrayal," the "Another Cleveland Sports Disaster," "Pulling an Akron."

Former Cleveland Resident:

The most public yet of our many humiliations.

Now, on to the media circus. Nearly every news outlet has been pushing some sort of LeBron story - US Magazine says LeBron is likely going to Miami because he has hotel rooms booked there this weekend; ESPN reported that LeBron is likely to stay in Cleveland and then, this morning, changed tune and states now that LeBron is going to Miami. Last week, New York was in the lead. The truth is none of these folks know where LeBron is going. It's all speculation - except for, maybe, Stephen A. Smith's prediction that the whole thing is a done deal (Smith may have insider knowledge, but also has been pretty accurate with regards to free agency). Since no one knows what LeBron is thinking, speculation becomes rumor which in turn becomes fact. Since it's the off season and there just aren't a lot of sports headlines, what would otherwise be a slow week (or two) has become a crescendo of web traffic driven by speculation and driving revenues.

As nearly everyone and their mother knows by now, LeBron has five real options: the Nets, the Knicks, the Bulls, the Heat, and the Cavs.* If he goes to the Nets, he gets the New York media market, Brook Lopez, Devin Harris, and Avery Johnson. If he goes to the Knicks, he gets the New York media market, teammate Amare Stoudemire, and an up tempo system with Mike D'Antoni. He does not get a ring unless the Knicks manage to finagle a fantastic point guard. If he goes to the Bulls, he gets a franchise-altering point guard with Derrick Rose, a defensive center in Joakim Noah, and Carlos Boozer along with new head coach and alleged defensive mastermind Tom Thibodeau. If he goes to the Heat, he gets to play alongside Dwyane Wade who is a bigger superstar in Miami and Chris Bosh who wins fans over with his sense of humor - essentially, LeBron becomes LePippen to Wade. If LeBron stays in Cleveland, he does not stab his most loyal fans in the back and he remains a big fish in a small pond while making more money than he could make anywhere else.

I'm guessing and hoping LeBron stays in Cleveland. Why? You just can't go on national TV and tear out the hearts of your most loyal fans and expect to get respect. Oh, and LeBron really likes money, which Cleveland can give more of to him, and has a massive ego (limestone bust of himself much?).

* C'mon, the Clippers? Would any serious and sane player want to be traded to the Clippers? Here are several reasons why the answer is always no: Donald Sterling, the Clippers, Vinny Del Negro, Baron Davis's inability to not shoot a contested three pointer with 18 seconds left on the shot clock, the curse of the Clippers, Donald Sterling, increased likelihood of career-crippling injury, the Clippers, and Donald Sterling. The reasons to go to the Clippers? Clippers dancers, Blake Griffin, Eric Gordon, and Chris Kaman.

The King's Announcement

ESPN.com is reporting that LeBron James will announce his free agency decision Thursday night at 9 ET during a one-hour special on ESPN. 

Assuming that it takes, I don't know, 20 seconds for Lebron to make his announcement, what are they going to do with the rest of the hour?  Am I crazy, or did Lebron convince the "World Wide Leader in Sports" to provide him with a free hour long tribute. That is CRAZY.  

While it is easy to understand why ESPN would agree to air the "special" - in exchange for one hour of TV time on a slow summer Thursday, they are getting an exclusive on the biggest free agent announcement in sports history - do we as fans have to like it? Should we even watch it? 

Me, I know I shouldn't but I'm sure I will.  What can I say, I love the King!

What about you?

Clipps Get New Coach

Reports are in that the Los Angeles Clippers have selected Vinny Del Negro as their new head coach. Does anybody care? Does it really matter? Can LA-2 ever be good?

Really Michael Vick? Really?

On Friday, renown dog fighter/tax evader (and part-time NFL quarterback) Michael Vick celebrated his 30th birthday party at a Virginia Beach night club. The end of the night was unfortunately marred by gunfire. Vick initially told authorities that he and his entourage were long gone before the shooting took place. But spokesman for the Guadalajara restaurant Allen Fabijan provided footage of Vick and his entourage leaving the night club exactly three minutes before the shooting.

So that's shady, right? But perhaps Vick meant he was gone and had no idea that a shooting took place. That's not lying, really. Sure, Vick has lied to the police, the owner of the Atlanta Falcons, and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in the past, but this is the rehabilitated Michael Vick. That was probably just a semantics discrepancy. I mean, Falcons WR Roddy White backed up Vick's story. So there's some additional credibility.

So who got shot at this shindig? Some random who shelled out the $50 for the privilege of attending the birthday of a convicted felon? No, it was apparently his good pal Quanis Phillips, who testified against Vick in the trial for his infamous dog fighting ring. Phillips also apparently was involved in slapping Vick's fiancee's hand as she fed him birthday cake, which made her smear some cake on Vick's face. So, a guy who testified against you and then got your wife to smush cake into your face got shot three minutes after you left that night?

Oh, boy.

This looks really bad, even by Michael Vick's standards. Looks like he might not get to throw mediocre passes for the Philadelphia Eagles this year, and though nothing official has happened yet, Philadelphia trading Donovan McNabb away to the Redskins suddenly looks a lot stupider.

Another Case of Bad Parenting

In Toronto, the parents of two 15 year old boys are suing the team for damages after both sons were cut from a youth team. 70 boys between the ages of 13 and 16 tried out for the team. The team had expected to carry a 17 man roster. That means that going in, everyone knew that 53 of the 70 boys were going to get cut. I have a few years of youth coaching under my belt, and I've dealt with some bad parents, but this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

The lawsuit is asking for $25,000 from each of the four coaches and another $25,000 from the league for a total of $125,000. Seriously? If your sons were "irreparably damaged" by getting cut from a youth hockey tryout, you are shitty parents. There is no way around that. The frivolity of this lawsuit is an affront to honest parents and coaches of youth athletes everywhere. I sincerely hope that the judge laughs at the allegations and demands the plaintiffs pay legal costs for both sides if this nonsense ever goes to trial.

LeBron, Bosh to Bulls?

This would be a coup for Chicago, if it pans out:



The NYT has the original story on Chris Bosh moving from the Toronto Raptors, and free-agent-extraordinaire LeBron James from the Cavs, moving in tandem to the storied Chicago Bulls.

ESPN has the follow up, along with the above video.

Local hockey fan continues to watch boring television

Yes, my off-season sports chats sound like headlines from The Onion. I got called out after my last rant about the NHL Network by a facebook friend-of-a-friend. (Sad, I know. It wasn’t even a friend of my own. I have a very Charlie Brown-like existence.) But, my new FFOF pointed out that there is plenty going on in the hockey world right now to keep a fan (okay, fanatic) engaged. There have been shocking trades, the new schedules have been released, the recent NHL awards and NHL draft, and July 1 will open up free agency. She’s right. There's still plenty of action around the NHL, and the awards and draft have been broadcast on Versus. It’s not exactly the body-crushing action of watching a game every night, but it keeps things interesting. And for some reason, watching teams I mostly don’t care about draft young players I’ve never heard of is way more interesting than whatever else is on TV these days. I don’t know if that speaks to how much I love hockey, or how bad television programming is these days. Probably a little of both.

The first round of the NHL draft was Friday night and the only players I knew by name were the number one and number two draft picks: Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin. I’ve heard plenty of speculation about which one would be chosen first, but I still have no idea which one is which. I think that Taylor is the one that turns into a werewolf and Tyler is the vampire that sparkles. Or is it the other way around? Whoever they are, you never hear about one without a mention of the other. It’s a good thing NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman was behind the podium, because the pre-packaged marketing opportunity of this rivalry must be giving him a raging hard-on. Next season the NHL can branch off from the constant comparisons between Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin. Except this Taylor/Tyler thing may be even easier for the league to exploit. I bet no one has ever had a problem telling Crosby and Ovechkin apart.

So, the 2010 NHL draft is over. The Oilers have Taylor Hall, the Bruins have Tyler Seguin, and the Maple Leafs have to live with the fact that they gave up two draft picks this year, including their shot to acquire a promising young player with a built-in marketing ploy (along with a 2011 first round pick!) to the Bruins for Phil Kessel. For last year's draft, Toronto’s GM Brian Burke tried to trade up for a shot at John Tavares (spoiler alert! His attempts were ill-fated. Tavares just finished his first season with the Islanders and did very well for them.) This year they essentially gave up one of the –ylors. Better luck next year, Toronto. Oh no, wait – you traded away your first round 2011 draft pick too. Well, better luck in 2012 then.

Now that the NHL Awards show and the draft are over, I know I can count on the NHL Network to replay them for the remainder of the summer alongside old playoff games. I wonder how many more times I'll see Kevin Connolly. I was totally not expecting to see E from Entourage announce the Islanders pick.

And The Stage is Set: Round of 16 Preview

The final games of group play have finished, and the elimination rounds of the 2010 World Cup are now set! Spain fought back from their surprise loss to Switzerland with a big 2-1 win over Chile, propelling themselves to the top of Group H and avoiding a Round of 16 matchup against Brazil, who faces Chile instead. Interesting fact, Chile gave up 7 goals to Brazil in their two matches during World Cup qualifying; not exactly the best record you want when facing the #1 team in the world.

How did the various continents do? Well, Europe did worse than last time around, and the rest of the world did better:

Europe - 6 (down from 10 in 2006)
South America - 5
CONCACAF (N. & C. Am., Caribbean) - 2
Asia - 2
Africa - 1
Oceania - 0

And who has the easiest path to the semi-finals, and who has the hardest? Let's look at the brackets (using pre-World Cup FIFA Rankings):

Weakest: #14 USA v. #32 Ghana, #16 Uruguay v. #47 S. Korea
#2 Spain v. #3 Portugal, #31 Paraguay v. #45 Japan
#1 Brazil v. #18 Chile, #4 Netherlands v. #34 Slovakia
Strongest: #6 Germany v. #8 England, #7 Argentina v. #17 Mexico

Things look good for Team USA; they are in the weakest bracket by far, and while Ghana is the strongest team in Africa and Uruguay is the original power team, the Yanks are fully capable of winning their bracket up to the semi-finals if they play the way they did back in the Confederations Cup, where they beat Spain in the semi-finals and went up 2-0 over Brazil in halftime of the finals, only to give up 3 goals in the second half. We may see a rematch of that Confederations Cup finals (held in South Africa last year), as Brazil and the USA are on the same side of the brackets, able to meet up in the semi-final match. But it won't be a cakewalk for Brazil, either; though they are heavily favored to trounce Chile yet again, they haven't looked in top form yet this World Cup (though all signs suggest they're just waiting for the elimination rounds to play their real game, which should blow us all away), and may face European powerhouse Netherlands in the quarterfinals.

On the other side, the toughest trek by far will be where perennial European powerhouses Germany and England face off. Both are playing some of the ugliest football we've ever seen them play, with England finishing second in Group C after being unable to beat Algeria and drawing with the Americans (sort of like the War of 1812). Not only should that first match be a knock-down, drag-out street fight, but the winner of the derby faces red-hot Argentina, who is one of the few teams who look like they're ready to win the whole thing, maybe even more so than Brazil. And don't count out Mexico, which has been playing like a top 10 team and may be the Cinderella story of this World Cup. Whoever comes out of this strongest group will probably face the winner of Iberian neighbors Spain and Portugal. Spain has definitely not looked like the European champions so far, with star Liverpool striker Fernando "El Nino" Torres still scoreless and an apparent inability to convert on strong chances. UEFA Euro 2008 hero David Villa (Valencia) has stepped up, though, and it will be interesting to see whether he continues to be the big finisher for La Roja (who confused me by wearing blue today in their final group match).

Portugal, too, has been lackluster, with the biggest disappointment being the lack of goals from international superstar Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid) (especially after the epic Nike ad campaign). In 270 minutes, Ronaldo has hit the back of the net just once, of seven Portuguese goals. If Spain is in top form, we'll see Barca-inspired dominance of possession, meaning fewer chances for Portugal. Ronaldo will have to execute on the opportunities he does have if he hopes to make the Nike ads into a reality.

But here back home, all eyes are just focused right now on USA v. Ghana. By all measures, the USA is favored, but that's not how the World Cup works. Emotions will be running high; Ghana and the US were both in the same group in 2006, and the African Cup Champions nabbed the second slot out of group play behind Italy (remember when Italy used to make it out of group play), with Ghana beating the US 2-1 in the final group play match, sending the Yanks home and dooming Americans to another four years of pretending that the world cares about MLB's World Series. As always, Team USA has a lot to prove to proto-fans at home, and there is never a venue better than the World Cup to teach Americans to love soccer. But the Black Stars will be under a lot of pressure as well; not only are they looking to make another run in the World Cup, they're now the only remaining African team in the first African World Cup in history. It's a lot of pressure from an entire continent, and while the players and coaches claim to welcome it, how they handle it come tomorrow is yet to be seen.

Saturday
Uruguay v. South Korea, 10am EDT, 7am PDT, ESPN
USA v. Ghana, 2:30pm EDT, 11:30am PDT, ABC

Sunday
Germany v. England, 10am EDT, 7am PDT, ESPN
Argentina v. Mexico, 2:30pm EDT, 11:30am PDT, ABC

Monday
Netherlands v. Slovakia, 10am EDT, 7am PDT, ESPN
Brazil v. Chile, 2:30pm EDT, 11:30am PDT, ESPN

Tuesday
Paraguay v. Japan, 10am EDT, 7am PDT, ESPN
Spain v. Portugal, 2:30pm EDT, 11:30am PDT, ESPN

USA Advances!!

The party is still raging here in Pretoria as the US won a stunner in stoppage time to advance to the knockout stages and play Ghana.

The match was intense. The US played well but was consistently unable to finish. And I can't explain why the first goal was called back. But now, I don't really care. Maybe the US has used up its share of bad calls and we'll get some good ones moving forward.

Right before Donovan scored, the US was attacking pretty fiercely. The stadium would get up and down with the ebb and flow of the attack. Some of the strikes were pretty solid and the Algerian keeper was played extremely well today.

But the eruption after the goal was insane!! People dancing in their seats, chucking beers all over the place, hugging any American sitting next to them, the Algerians strangely silent and pissed at the same time. It was a great experience being there and sharing in 92 minutes of pain and then the on-going celebration.

Random fact: The USA finishes on the top of their group even though they held the lead in their three matches for a total of one minute.

See you in Rustenburg boys on Saturday!

Jeremy Roenick is not my ex-boyfriend

While some J.B. Sports Chat bloggers were watching international sporting events, others were back home in the U.S. of A. coping with life in the off-season. I don't know what other hockey fans, NBA fans, or NFL fans watch on television, but I always catch myself flipping to the NHL Network like it's an ex-boyfriend's facebook page. I know it's over, but sometimes it's nice to check in and see if there's anything going on.

Much like my exes, the NHL Network programming has gone downhill since it ended. The Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup on June 9th and effectively played the last NHL game until the pre-season starts up in September. In between seasons, the network often replays recent playoff games, or shows classic finals games from any time during the last 40 years or so. These are hard to watch when you already know the outcome. Over the weekend, I watched something I hadn't seen before. They aired several episodes of the Pokerstars.net NHL Charity Poker Tournament. This is exactly what it sounds like - NHL stars playing poker for charity. Surprisingly, it wasn't that boring. I saw Jeremy Roenick, Mats Sundin, Eddie Olczyk, Alex Ovechkin, and many other NHL stars alongside some professional poker players. And Kevin Connelly (E from Entourage.) ?? It was like watching a competitive poker tournament, but with celebrities you recognize.

I watched the poker games pretty passively as I was multitasking at home, but I knew they were not recent because at one point Scott Hartnell (Flyers) was playing against Kris Versteeg (Blackhawks) and there was no mention of the series they just finished weeks ago. I went online to find out just how long ago the games were played, and it turns out I had been watching poker games from one year ago.

My question is this: Which is sadder, watching NHL players (and E from Entourage!) playing a year old game of poker, or stalking an ex's facebook page? Because right now, they are both feeling equally pathetic. It's time to move on, but baseball just doesn't satisfy me the way that hockey does.

Man, this relates on so many levels. I'm just going to go on with my life and thank ESPN for making poker an official sport. Maybe later this summer I can watch Chris Pronger and Chris Chelios compete in a spelling bee from 2008. Thank God for sports television networks.

Bookend Tackles?

In 2005, the New Orleans Saints used their 13th overall pick on a left tackle who would go on to make the Pro Bowl in his second and fourth years. But during their 2009 Super Bowl run, Jammal Brown was sidelined with a hip injury and a sports hernia. The Saints prevailed without him, which is why they were willing to give him up to the Redskins for a conditional 2011 draft pick.

The Redskins offensive line couldn't stop anything last year. They were BP bad. For many fans, this was priority number one. So how does the line stack up now? With rookie Trent Williams on the left and Jammal Brown on the right, not too bad. (*note: Williams was a right tackle in college, Brown played left for the Saints. Currently the Redskins have them slotted oppositely, but this could change as the preseason progresses).

What can bookend tackles mean? A lot. It's the key to the outside run. You might recall very successful campaigns for Stephen Davis and Clinton Portis when Chris Samuels and Jon Jansen were healthy. In the middle, Big Mike Williams and newcomer Artis Hicks duke it out to start opposite incumbent right guard Derrick Dockery. And then there's old reliable Casey Rabach at center. Don't get me wrong, it's not the Hogs, but if they stay healthy, I like our odds.

Recovering from emotional rollercoaster of USA Slovenia

It's taken two days to calm down after the Slovenia match to be able to write this. The game was the most emotional sporting event I've ever attended, by far. I got to the match and was immediately impressed by the density of American supporters. In a stadium that holds 60,000 people, there must have been at least 80% USA fans! In comparison, the England game was probably 35% American supporters in a stadium that seated 40,000.

All the supporters had come out in brilliant costumes. My favorite was a trio in NASA space suits holding signs that read "South Africa! We have landed!". I'll get up pictures as soon as I get them off my camera. The place was rocking by the time the teams came out onto the fields for their national anthems.

So we are all yelling and screaming and blowing a few vuvuzelas and then Slovenia slips through for their first goal. The oft-cited criticism is that the US leaks bad goals. My opinion after watching two games is that the critics are right. The USA leaked two bad early goals and immediately put ourselves in a hole. Timmy Howard is an amazing keeper and has definitely kept the team in the game any number of times, but if his defense won't mark up and close out and run players off the ball in the box then we are going to give up bad goals.

The stadium was very quiet after the first goal but we got back on the horse and continued urging the team on. And we had a really good attack going for a while, highlighted by Donovan's near goal that was kicked away at the last possible moment by a Slovenian defender. But then the heartbreaker - after a good ten to fifteen minutes of American domination, the Slovenians slipped in on the counter-attack. It was a beautifully played throughball, assisted by more sloppy American defending, that was slotted into the back of the net.

So there we are, thoroughly disheartened, going into the half down two-zero. Thankfully Bradley made two important changes at the half. Anyone with half an eye could have told you Findley was ineffective in the first 135 minutes of play and he was removed. Torres played a mostly uninspired defensive midfield, with the exception of one nice set piece, and was also removed. Donovan was moved up to a forward position and immediately rewarded the decision with a cracker of a goal two yards in front of the net. From there on out, it was USA almost the whole half. This is the type of soccer I came to South Africa to see! The US imposed their will on Slovenia, making nice runs, putting together crisp passes, and taking well-aimed shots.

And we were rewarded in the 80th minute with a beautifully set up play, a drop-down header from Altidore, who was playing like a rock in the front, and a slammed home volley from Bradley junior. We were back in the game!!! The crowd erupted in a roar I've never heard before. We were feeling really good and continued to press the attack. It seemed as if Slovenia was content to merely try and hang on for the draw at this point. But they could not deny the US attack and the Americans scored a beautiful goal of a Donovan set piece.

Even though the Slovenians appeared helpless before the American assault, the referee was not and blew the now-infamous phantom penalty against our side. The goal was mysteriously called back. By now there has been enough venting and complaining and I'm willing to accept the absurdity of it all. A beautiful goal nullified and no explanation given. At the match I was beyond upset. But the English draw against Algeria has put the ball firmly into the American court. It we win, we advance. That's all a team can really ask for anyway. And somehow, a win with a Slovenian loss or draw puts us through in first place, avoiding Germany in the round of 16. And thanks to a weak group A, we would most likely play Mexico or Uruguay in the quarters. It is hard to imagine a better road to the semis than that. Not an easy one, but infinitely better than facing Argentina or Brazil early on.

All in all, I'll take where we are at. I hoped for better, prayed for no worse, and now the USA is in control of its destiny. Oleeeee, ole ole, oleeee. Ole----- USA!

Notes from the Cup

Here's another post from our friend Eric in South Africa - apologies for the tardiness. I blame the time difference.

I went to the USA v. England match last week. It was a nice healthy drive from Joburg to Rustenburg on a small highway that clearly wasn't intended to transport that many rabid fans to a stadium in the middle of nowhere. My friend and I parked the car a few miles from the stadium and hopped on the bus with masses of singing English fans. Cruised into the stadium without problems, found our seats, and the game began.



The Brits are far in front of us with their cheers, and songs, and hand claps and general insults to hurl at the other team. A lot of us American fans resorted to a scattering of old college cheers. We need to get a consensus on this guys! Any songwriters out there want to get us some good music to taunt our foes across the pitch?

The first goal against was brutal. The USA came out looking sloppy and unprepared for the quickness of the English attack. Within minutes we were down 1-nil and the USA fans looked despondent. When a goal is scored so quickly there is a lot of time to get back in the mix though, and after the first ten minutes the US started to play a lot better. Our goal was a miracle of course - no competent keeper should have let that one through.



In the second half the game opened up a lot more. Timmy Howard was my MVP of the game, with brilliant save after save. Jozy's sweet run that ended in a shot off the crossbar almost had the USA fans in fits. What a sweet victory that would've been. I'm getting ready for the Slovenia game now and I think it will go well for our boys. We should have some confidence after drawing England and come out a little more comfortable and ready to play. I think Donovan and Jozy could be a little more assertive, and I'm still not sure who the other striker paired with Jozy was, but please, bench him. He showed nothing the entire match except drawing one penalty at the 40 yard line.

Good luck boys!

For a look at what happened on Friday and what it means, check out Kevin's post.

What Today's U.S., England Draws Mean?

In case you weren't actually at the match (Eric), playing hookey from work at 10am Eastern (Beau), or half asleep on your parents' couch at 7am Pacific (me), you may have missed an edge-of-your-seat 90 minutes of USA soccer today, with our Yanks fighting back from a nil-two deficit going into the half to almost pull off a Laker-esque come-from-behind victory. In fact, but for the worst reffing ever, Team USA would now be sitting happy atop the Group C standings. Unfortunately, they suffered from a non-foul called a foul, plus failure to call a penalty kick, resulting in a 2-2 draw, and Slovenia kings of Group C.

Oh yeah, and then England drew 0-0 with Algeria, proving definitively that England (ranked #8 in the world by FIFA) was overrated coming into this World Cup, and that Rooney's Premier League top-striker title fails to translate without a star international supporting cast.

So what does this all mean? Slovenia has 4 points, the U.S. and England each 2, and Algeria 1. The U.S. has its own destiny in its hands; a win means it moves forward with five points, regardless of how England vs. Slovenia plays out. The U.S. also moves forward with a tie if Slovenia and England draw at 0-0 or 1-1 (for any draw higher, the U.S. would have to draw at a goal higher as well to progress; i.e., a 2-2 Eng/Slo draw would require a 1-1 U.S./Alg draw).

This is all because the first World Cup tiebreaker in group play is Goal Differential (goals scored minus goals allowed), and the second tiebreaker is total Goals For. Right now, Slovenia is sitting on a +1 GD, the U.S. and England are at 0, and Algeria is at -1. For Goals For, Slovenia and the U.S. both have 3, the English just one, and Algeria none.

If both the U.S. and England win, they'll both move forward. Who finishes first in the group (thus getting a hypothetically easier draw in the Round of 16) depends on who wins bigger next Wednesday (remember, GD is the first tiebreaker and the U.S. and England are currently even on that front).

Whether it'll be a blessing or a curse to come out of group first is yet to be seen; the winner of Group C plays the Group D runner up, and Germany fell 0-1 to Serbia today, with best-in-Africa Ghana yet to come.