I am no longer afraid of getting old

The future suddenly has so much more promise. I have been a hockey fan for many years, but it was not until today that I learned about a little team called the Gerihatricks. Who knew we had so many options for local sports around here!? From their website:

The Gerihatricks are a loosely knit group of senior hockey players, 60 plus and 70 plus years of age, that play primarily at the Gardens Ice House in Laurel, MD.

Yeah, that's right. Things are gonna get real interesting in my golden years and I'm gonna start the smacktalk now. You hear that, Quincy Bald Eagles? I'm talking to you too, Central Mass Rusty Blades! Don't be fooled by the fact that I've never played hockey, and never even been on ice skates before. I'm going to spend the next few decades training and molding myself into a sleek, fast, and fit hockey machine that does not look a day over 50 even when she's 85! When I'm eligible to be in this league, you better take your teeth out before you hit the ice. Cuz I play to win, grandpa!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go hit the gym.