PIF: And So It Begins...

Dear Loyal NFL Fans,

Tonight is the night. Despite threats to the contrary in the offseason, the National Football League 2011 season is beginning on time with the last two Super Bowl Champions facing off tonight. What does this mean? It means most of you are frantically setting your weekly fantasy rosters, tweaking and fine tuning like our jobs and lives depend on it. Chat windows are popping up everywhere with exchanges like this one between me and Beau:


me:  what do you think, Tomlinson or Green-Ellis?
Beau:  for?
me:  fantasy
flex player
our league
Beau:  oh dude.
you know I know nothing about football, right
me:  This is going in tonights PIF
Beau:  well then, I'd go with LT because the other guy has a hyphenated name, and I just don't trust hyphenated named people.
me:  Beautiful

I'm willing to bet that this Balki Bartokomous-esque approach to fantasy football works. Perfect Strangers. It was this show backinaday. Anyway, this can't be good for Maurice Jones-Drew or Mike Sims-Walker. How about if you guys drop your mother's feminist statement of a last name and cease perpetuating the stereotype that black NFL players never seem to come from a traditional nuclear family. But I digress.

You're reading because Week 1 is a fresh start and no one ever predicts it right. But yet all over the internet and beyond smug jackasses make these "bold predictions" about a season that hasn't even come out of the womb yet. Tonight, the NFL's water breaks, and by Tuesday the afterbirth of media attention will turn each slightly unexpected outcome into the next big news story. This is what happens when sports updates fancy themselves "news". But if MSNBC can fancy themselves as such, who the fark.com am I to tell ESPN they can't?

The following predictions should not be the basis for any wager involving cash, first born children, or body parts:

Saints at Packers ***THURSDAY NIGHT SPECIAL***
The last two seasons' Super Bowl champs! Fuck yeah! this is how you start a season. Green Bay QB knows that the best way he can piss on the legacy of Brett Favre is to win more Super Bowls than him, which I think is better motivation than the Saints' "Waaahh are city is still broken from a rain event we had six years ago" bullshit. I mean that's all they're going on these days.
Packers 27, Saints 24


Falcons at Bears
I hate Atlanta.
Bears 21, Falcons 10


Bengals at Browns ***WEEK 1 MISERA-BOWL***
Seriously, are any of you coal breathing hicks in Ohio watching the NFL? you have the Buckeyes, a real football team with a winning tradition. Both of these teams are most famous for games they lost. Neither represents a particularly palatable metropolitan area. Although I have to hand it to Cleveland. They built a franchise in the '50s because Paul Brown wasn't afraid of having a few brothers on his team. Now they boast the only white 1,000 yard running back in the last quarter century. Racially progressive, Cleveland... who'd have thought?
Browns 31, Bengals 17


Bills at Chiefs
I'll buy you a house in Buffalo if you can name three starters on their defense. Seriously. Beer at Arrowhead Stadium costs more than a house in Buffalo.
Chiefs 30, Bills 10


Eagles at Rams ***UPSET OF THE WEEK***
ZOMG THA E-GULLS R LEGIT! MUUFUCKIN DREAM TEAM SON! Nope, I've seen this movie, and it goes straight to DVD. You may be able to buy a championship in baseball and basketball, but the Redskins have been trying this move for years and it doesn't work. Eagles QB Ron Mexico (thought I forgot about that. I didn't.) has one good year passing and all of the sudden he's Johnny Unitas with a criminal record (and herpes). And all these high priced folks they landed in the offseason? Jason Babin,  Nnamdi Asowhatsit, Cullen Jenkins, Donald Lee, Vince Young... This all looks like something out of Daniel M. Snyder's evil playbook of schemes to sell jerseys of past-their-prime NFLers. Eagles are and will always be the Italian Army of the NFC. They'll keep saying they're gonna go all the way, and then they get their asses handed to them by Ethiopia.
Rams 20, Eagles 18


Lions at Buccaneers
I got nothing for this one. Go looking for a link on Cracked.com and tell me you don't wind up reading like 8 articles before you get back to what you were originally doing.
Lions 24, Buccaneers 21


Titans at Jaguars ***BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK***
The Jaguars will be in Los Angeles before the season is over. God they're terrible.
Titans 45, Jaguars 10


Steelers at Ravens ***GAME OF THE WEEK***
Having Ed Reed in your defensive backfield is like having the Konami code on your team.
Ravens 23, Steelers 21


Colts at Texans
No Peyton Manning! For the first time since PIF began insulting your intelligence in 2002, Peyton Manning will not be starting for the Indianapolis Colts. He has a strained media whore muscle or something. So recovering alcoholic aging journeyman Kerry Collins will be digging a giant hole to bury the Colts' season until Peyton unfucks himself. FTR, replacing Peyton Manning with Kerry Collins is like replacing a fine aged scotch with... a recovering alcoholic.
Texans 34, Colts 13


Giants at Redskins
New York plays Washington ten years to the day removed from the devastating terrorist acts that shocked a nation. There's going to be a fuckton of America behind this game. You know what? Bin Laden is fish food. We've systematically dismantled al-Qaeda's leadership. New York and Washington have recovered to become easily two of the best cities to live in or visit in the entire hemisphere. So it doesn't really matter which one of these teams wins.
Winner: AMERICA


Seahawks at 49ers
Well, if it isn't a blossoming rivalry in the festering cesspool of a division, the NFC West. Proving that you don't even have to be mediocre to win this division, Seattle last year finished with a losing record despite making it to the second round of the playoffs. Pete Carroll's team returns this year to to try and French Army his way back into the playoffs. Does new 9ers shot caller Jim Harbaugh have anything to say about it? No. No he does not.
Seahawks 28, 49ers 17


Vikings at Chargers
Man, I just don't care about this game at all.
Chargers 33, Vikings 27


Panthers at Cardinals
Like every date I've been on in the last year, I have very low expectations for this one.
Cardinals 10, Panthers 9


Cowboys at Jets
If the AMURRICA factor in the Skins-Giants game is going to be a force, you can bet your "Never Forget" bumper sticker that the Jets will be running high on emotion. "America's Team" has no idea what they will be getting into on this September 11th freedom fest in the Big Apple. I love the irony that drips from this statement: the Jets are going to topple these Cowboys.*
Jets 31, Cowboys 20
*fuck you, al-Qaeda


Patriots at Dolphins ***MNF***
The Patriots have hands down the whitest offense in football. QB- Tom Brady, it doesn't get much whiter. Offensive line? Five white guys. Here's where it gets tricky: WR- yes, there are big name guys like Dieon Branch and big egos like Chad Ochocinco... but last year they were the only team that started two different white guys at wide reciever, Julian Edelman and Wes Welker... and Welker is milky white. RB- Officially they have BenJarvus Green-Ellis as the starter, but FB Danny Woodhead has made appearances at tailback with Rob Gronkowski filling in at FB. That leaves Aaron Hernandez at TE. And he's almost white. I challenge you to find another team that can put a full eleven offensive players in an NFL game and have them all be vanilla.
Dolphins 27, Patriots 19


Raiders at Broncos ***MNF x 2***
Holy Jesus balls, what have I done?! I'm predicting MADNESS on Monday night! Two kinda shitty teams will UNLEASH upon an unsuspecting audience more points than the total number of Raider fans who have finished high school!
Raiders 51, Broncos 35


So not only is this week 1, it's the tenth anniversary of the horrific terrorist attacks in new York and Washington. And as your resident war veteran, I want to relay a message to all you good Americans. Enough with the Drowning Pool song. You know the one. If you think you're showing support for our troops with a montage of war scenes to the soundtrack of a death metal chorus of "Let the bodies hit the floor," you are an asshole who hates America. That's not commemorating the fallen of an act of war committed on our soil, that's redneck blood lust that basically compares the most humane and dignified military in the world to Ghengis fucking Khan. I hate you all, I hate that song, God Bless America. See you next week.

-DM

Tragic Plane Crash Shakes Hockey World

- photo via AP

Just now from AP:

TUNOSHNA, Russia (AP) — A private Russian jet carrying a top ice hockey team slammed into a riverbank moments after takeoff Wednesday, killing at least 43 people in one of the worst plane crashes ever involving a sports team.

Both Russia and the world of hockey were left stunned by the deaths of so many international stars in one catastrophic event. Two other people on board were critically injured.

[...]

The plane was carrying the Lokomotiv ice hockey team from Yaroslavl to Minsk, the capital of Belarus, where the team was to play Thursday against Dinamo Minsk in the opening game of the season for the Kontinental Hockey League. The ministry said it had 45 people on board, including 37 passengers and eight crew.

The Emergency Ministry said Czech players Josef Vasicek, Karel Rachunek and Jan Marek, Swedish goalie Stefan Liv, Canadian coach Brad McCrimmon, Latvian defenseman Karlis Skrastins and defenseman Ruslan Salehi of Belarus were among those killed. Slovakian national team captain Pavol Demitra, who played in the NHL for the St. Louis Blues and the Vancouver Canucks, was also among the dead, officials said.

NHL Tragedies

Derek Boogaard was found dead in his home on May 13, 2011 from a lethal combination of alcohol and painkillers. He was 28 years old.

Rick Rypien was found dead in his home on August 15, 2011. The cause of death was determined to be suicide. He was 27.

Yesterday, August 31, 2011, Wade Belak was found dead in his home. It was released today that the death was suicide. He was 35 years old.

All three of these men were NHL players and their combined number of career Penalties in Minutes (PIM) is 5,583. That number includes games played in minor leagues. Total NHL PIMs is 2,078. Total number of goals scored in the NHL between all three players in the entirety of their careers: 20.

Call them what you like: Enforcers, Goons, Fighters. It is an unofficial and controversial role in hockey. [Note: Rick Rypien has been mentioned in this blog before, with a video posted of him yanking a fan out of the stands.] The debate about whether fighting should be allowed in hockey is ongoing. Recently the NHL has shown less tolerance for head injuries, but fighting has been around as long as the game of hockey. Nothing gets the fans on their feet and cheering quicker than when two players throw down the gloves.

The off-season in hockey is only about four months long, yet this short period of time has seen a great deal of tragedy in 2011. This pattern is troubling, and while it does not appear that the deaths are immediately related, it does shine a brighter light on the enforcer role, and further the debate of the place of fighting in hockey.

U.S. Open Baby

Arthur Ashe Stadium

Well folks, it's that time of year again! NFL Football is starting in just 8 days, College Football begins in earnest this weekend (No. 3 Oregon vs. No. 4 LSU are you kidding me?), September call-ups are just 2 days away in Major League Baseball, and Flushing Meadows Park is open for tennis!  While I love football and MLB, I must admit that I might just be the most excited for the U.S. Open!

For those of you who haven't been, I would highly recommend making the trip to the Billie Jean King National Tennis Center for a day session at the Open. Everybody talks about Arthur Ashe Stadium, which is certainly gorgeous, but for me, the best part is stumbling on great matches on one of the many side courts.  During the first week it's not unusual to find yourself watching a classic third or fourth round match just feet away from the net and across from the chair. It is impossible to truly understand just how hard the men (and even the women) hit until you have to take cover to avoid getting taken out by an errant forehand.

2009 - Court 11, Round 3: Kateryna Bondarenko def. Anastassia Rodionov

Is standing at the net a bit close? Instead, head over to Louie Armstrong where it is almost guaranteed that you will be in the midst of watching a great match when you hear screaming from the grandstand and rumbling that another classic match is being played right next door. That's your cue to leave your seat, climb the bleachers to the catwalk between Louie and the Grandstand, and get a bird's eye view of both amazing matches.

2010 – Louis Armstrong Stadium Robin Soderling

2010 – Grandstand: Gael Monfils

Even if you don’t care about tennis, but want a pretty park with good food, stunning views, and great drinks, the U.S. Open has that as well. 

Billie Jean King National Tennis Center

U.S. Open Signature Cocktail

Ice

4 oz Vodka

3/4 Cup Seltzer 

1/8 Cup Lemonade

Splash Chambord

Mix well and add tennis ball shaped melon!**

Flushing Meadows Corona Park - Queens, NY

So, if you are trying to find something to do over Labor Day, I suggest you buy a ground pass, grab a U.S. Open Signature Cocktail and watch some tennis!  

Drop a comment below if you go out and see some tennis!

*Photos generously provided by Agata Porter
** All amounts have been modified by Jason and Agata to increase maximum deliciousness and potency!

FIFA is $occer

- 18th FIFA President and corrupt mofo, Sepp Blatter

Check out this excellent piece on the evolution of FIFA into its modern, corrupted form. Here's a key excerpt on how FIFA revolutionized the way the rest of the sports world thinks about sponsorships and money:

At his first dinner as [FIFA's 17th] president, [João] Havelange encountered the German businessman Horst Dassler, the son of the founder of adidas. Dassler, an aggressive, manipulative entrepreneur who was then serving as the CEO of adidas France, had thought a great deal about how to capitalize on the explosion in the popularity of televised sport. Over a series of meetings, Havelange, Dassler, and Dassler's partner, Patrick Nally, devised what eventually became the template for modern sports sponsorship. As the soccer historian David Goldblatt writes in The Ball is Round, the plan had four components:

First, only the very largest multinational companies, whose advertising budgets could bear the load and whose global reach matched the TV audience on offer, should be approached as sponsors. Second, sponsorship and advertising would be segmented by product type: There could be only one soft drink, one beer, one microelectronics firm, or one financial services company that could be the official World Cup product or supplier. Third, FIFA would have total control over all forms of TV rights, advertising, stadium space, etc. Any and all existing deals in a host country would have to go. Fourth, FIFA itself would not handle the details of the sponsorship and TV deals. Marketing and TV rights would be handed over for a guaranteed sum of money to an intermediary who would sell them on.

To cover the last part, the selling of TV rights and sponsorships, Dassler created a marketing company called ISL, short for International Sports and Leisure, and established an office across the street from FIFA headquarters in Zurich.

The combined effect of Havelange's two insights [the other being support of Africa and Asia as a new power base] was to co[n]vert FIFA into a sort of hydraulic cash-flow machine.

Politically Incorrect Football: No, I will not predict the 2011 Season

Dear NFL fans,

It's been a long, strange offseason. I have been travelling for work for a solid year, so I haven't had to bear the brunt of the absurdity, but suffice to say that most NFL fans had their intelligence insulted and players before plays and owners finally decided that no, we're not going to forego billions and billions of dollars because we're not getting a big enough percentage of said billions of dollars.

So great, late July comes and we finally get word that the NFL season is happening! The draft went off without a hitch, players are coming in to training camp and now we're a couple of preseason games in... Everything is back to normal! I can start neglecting my imaginary girlfriend on Sundays, and that void in my life that I'd been filling with alcohol will now be filled with football. And alcohol.

Wrong.

I am submitting to you, loyal fans of the most-watched sports league on this spinning blue orb, that the entire National Football League 2011 season will be the biggest fluke in the history of sports. I'm not going to waste the time and energy expounding upon what teams are going to do what because anyone who claims to be making a serious attempt at such an endeavor is selling a plate of shit fit for a TGI Friday's menu.

People forget that this was the longest work stoppage in the history of the NFL. But Murphy, there was no work! It was the OFF-season! Au contraire, nameless Italics voice. We lost free agency, where teams can spend months courting the best suited players to their team. Instead we got three frantic days of grab bag signings, and teams wound up unevenly loading some positions while neglecting others. And while we're at it, there were no offseason workouts, where new players (i.e. those free agents that they normally sign in March) and the new rookie class all get to know each other. This year, the start of training camp was like the first day of high school. Rookies were the freshman and free agents were the transfer students. Only difference is that unlike most American high school students, these guys now have a little future job security. At least until 2021.

Further exacerbating that point, the lack of offseason workouts and controlled team activities will inevitably lead to disastrous injuries across the league. I'd say I feel sorry for the players a little bit, but fuck them, they're getting millions of dollars to do that to their bodies. This is what you fought for, jackasses. So the combination of lack of master planning, lack of team cohesiveness, and lack of conditioning will result in many games this season being played with about the same level of mastery as a land war in Africa.

There is no reason on earth I should be "predicting" what's going to happen. It's like predicting where the Westboro Baptist Church will be protesting next, or Kim Jong Il's wardrobe selection for the day. They're not predictions. They're guesses pulled out of your ass, between yesterday's Taco Bell sampler box and that polyp you should really have checked out.

But the Reverend Doctor Robert Michael Pierre Gustav Toutont Beauregard Finley III, Esquire (aka Beau, the "B" in JB Sports Chat) came at me and insisted I provide some sort of NFL preseason content. And I don't blame him. This is a sports blog. That's what sports blogs do. But fair warning, if you expect anything I predict to actually happen, you shouldn't be watching sports, you should be watching your diet and trying to eliminate paint chips from your daily consumption.

But before I get into that, a quick note to Entertainment and Sports Programming Network: Hey assholes, when I'm overseas for work and the only American station I have to watch is ESPN America, why in the hell would you broadcast the Little League World Series? NFL preseason football, Major League Baseball, Major League Soccer... hell, the Canadian Football League. Any college sport. I'd even take high school women's field hockey. But when you're my only link back to the Land of the Free and you're broadcasting me a bunch of 12-year-olds as Aruba faces Japan in the LLWS quarterfinals, all your doing is making me want to blow Bristol, Connecticut and South Williamsport, Pennsylvania off the map. Get your programming priorities straight, dammit!!!

Okay, on with the predictions:

1) Within 365 days of this post, the Jacksonville Jaguars will relocate to Los Angeles. 26 of the 38 Jaguars fans will move with them.

2) The division winners are going to be teams nobody expects. All these smug sportscasters are banally making the safe prediction that the Patriots, Packers, and Eagles will win their respective divisions. This year is going to be a fluke. It will be teams we don't expect, like the Memphis Showboats, the North Melbourne Kangaroos, the Tonawonda Kardex, and the Buffalo Bills.

3) Albert Haynesworth (DT, Patriots) will spend at least one night in jail. And he will fall in love.

4) White people who claim to be 1/16th Apache will be the only people who will continue to be offended by the name of the Washington Redskins. Like the Native American community in America doesn't have bigger fish to fry right now.

5) The underground cult-like fan base for Browns RB Peyton Hillis will bestow upon him the nickname "The Cleveland White".

6) Tony Romo will continue to make the same kind of comical blunders we've come to expect from a Polish-Mexican quarterback.

7) Troy Aikman will once again accidentally say the C-word on the air

8) Tom Brady will sleep with your girlfriend, just because he's an asshole and he can. (Besides... you're not happy with her. It will be a good reason to call it quits with her).

9) An NFL player will do something with a gun that will be even stupider than what Plaxico Burress did. My guess is a Cincinnati Bengal.

10) People in the following cities will have virtually nothing to live for unless their team makes a conference championship: Saint Louis, Detroit, Buffalo, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Houston, Phoenix, and Oakland.

LOCK OF THE YEAR: Philadelphia will continue to be the most ironically named city on earth.

Normally at times like this, I'd post some old statistics off of which we might be able to gauge what will go down this year in the NFL. But there's virtually nothing. The only thing I could think of pertains to other seasons with work stoppages... In league history, there have been two other work stoppages. Both of those seasons, the Super Bowl was won by the same team. An unlikely team that many people discounted, and both years that team had an unproven veteran quarterback with little of value on his resume. That's right, the Washington Redskins won the Super Bowl after the 1982 season and the 1987 season, and they are going to win it in 2011. If history can tell us one thing about what will happen in 2011, it's that the Lombardi trophy will be coming back to the Nation's Capital, and nobody will see it coming.

That's all I've got for the preseason, folks. I'm going to go eat a doner kebab. I'll see you in September when I'm back from Germany and done travelling for good.

Georgetown Hoyas in Fight with CBA's Bayi Rockets

Earlier today, or later today, depending on how you want to look at it, the Georgetown men's basketball team was involved in a brawl in China. The team was playing an exhibition against the Bayi Rockets, a Chinese Basketball Association team made up of players who serve in the People's Liberation Army (Chinese military). The game, however, was cut short when a melee erupted with the score tied at 64.

The Hoyas out-fouled the Rockets 28-11 in the first half. As a Georgetown fan present states:

The whole thing came undone in the third. About two minutes in, the ridiculously lopsided foul calls continued (we were in the bonus again 2 1/2 minutes in) and the first real shoving match kicked off over a loose ball. The players on the court separated each other pretty quickly, but then the craziest thing I've ever seen happened- one of the Bayi big men got in JT3's face and almost took a swing. He was so shocked he didn't know what to do. So that upped the ante a bit.

Then the foul calls truly took on a comical dimension. We supposedly fouled them every time down the court, despite some really good defense on some possessions. There were four or five intentional fouls called, giving them four shots each time down the court. JT3 was called for a technical for stepping over the line onto the court. I counted Bayi scoring two field goals in the entire third quarter.

The Washington Post has the details:

Immediately before the fighting began, Bayi forward-center Hu Ke was called for a foul against Georgetown’s Jason Clark. The senior guard clearly took exception to the hard foul and said so to Hu, trigger[ing] an exchange of shoves.

Hu is 6'10". Clark is 6'2" on a good day. The benches cleared. Chairs were thrown. Fans began to storm the court.

A woman sitting in the Georgetown fan section directly behind the bench implored Chinese police to try to calm the situation, saying someone was going to get hurt. The Chinese police had been watching the tensions escalate to the point of physical confrontations but made no attempts to break up any of the fights taking place on the court.

This was an incredibly dangerous situation for a bunch of young men (kids, really), alumni, and Georgetown coaches and assistants. Coach Thompson managed to arrange an organized escape to the buses without the help of police.

Before anyone was seriously hurt, Thompson said, “We’re outta here,” and pointed toward the tunnel behind the Hoyas bench leading underneath the stands.

As Thompson and his staff summoned players together and began escorting them off the court, the group had to dodge plastic water bottles being hurled from the stands. Once they reached the safety of the locker room, the team immediately gathered all its equipment and headed for the buses outside.

Members of the Hoyas staff were trying to find a police escort for the entire Georgetown contingent, including alumni and supporters who attended the game as part of a 10-day tour of China, fearing reprisals from Chinese fans. But rather than wait, Thompson told everyone to walk to the buses together.

Disgusting.

Here's a link to the video if you'd like to see Clark essentially get jumped by two Bayi players, followed by bedlam.

Beatem Down G-Town: Hoya Fightcha!

On a "goodwill" trip to China, the Georgetown Basketball team got into a brawl with Chinese Professional team Bayi.

According to the Washington Post:

What began as a goodwill trip to China for the Georgetown men’s basketball team turned violent Thursday night, when its exhibition game against the Bayi Rockets deteriorated into a melee during which players exchanged blows, chairs were thrown and spectators tossed full water bottles as Hoyas players and coaches headed to the locker room at Olympic Sports Center Stadium.

Georgetown Coach John Thompson III pulled his players off the court with 9 minutes 32 seconds left in the game and the scored tied at 64 after a chaotic scene in which members of both teams began throwing punches and tackling one another.

 All we can say is HOLY SHITBALZ!

Details coming in...

U of Miami's Illicit Booster Benefits

You may have seen yesterday that Ponzi schemester Nevin Shapiro admitted to providing millions of dollars worth of illicit payments and benefits to 72 U of Miami baskeball and football players.

Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro described a sustained, eight-year run of rampant NCAA rule-breaking, some of it with the knowledge or direct participation of at least seven coaches from the Miami football and basketball programs. At a cost that Shapiro estimates in the millions of dollars, he said his benefits to athletes included but were not limited to cash, prostitutes, entertainment in his multimillion-dollar homes and yacht, paid trips to high-end restaurants and nightclubs, jewelry, bounties for on-field play (including bounties for injuring opposing players), travel and, on one occasion, an abortion.

Nevin Shapiro said this photo was taken during a basketball fundraiser in 2008, in which the booster donated $50,000 to the program. From left to right are men’s basketball coach Frank Haith, Shapiro and University of Miami president Donna Shalala. Shalala is holding Shapiro’s donation check, which the booster has said was entirely comprised of Ponzi funds.

Also among the revelations were damning details of Shapiro’s co-ownership of a sports agency – Axcess Sports & Entertainment – for nearly his entire tenure as a Hurricanes booster. The same agency that signed two first-round picks from Miami, Vince Wilfork and Jon Beason, and recruited dozens of others while Shapiro was allegedly providing cash and benefits to players. In interviews with federal prosecutors, Shapiro said many of those same players were also being funneled cash and benefits by his partner at Axcess, then-NFL agent and current UFL commissioner Michael Huyghue. Shapiro said he also made payments on behalf of Axcess, including a $50,000 lump sum to Wilfork, as a recruiting tool for the agency.

While perhaps the most egregious case of illicit boosterism that we've seen in years, and one with greater cause for concern due to the involvement of NFL-level agents and pro-football officials, this is neither the first or last we'll see of this until the NCAA recognizes that big money sports will draw this type of behavior. Trying to crack down on players without addressing the larger institutional problems will do little to change the way boosters, coaches, agents and players behave.

If you haven't seen it, check out the HBO Real Sports special, "Dirty Money," and discussion about money in the NCAA. Clips included below.

Dirty Money:


NCAA Athletes and Money, Part 1:


NCAA Athletes and Money, Part 2:


Overtime:

L.A. one step closer to a(nother) NFL stadium. Who will play there?

- The proposed new stadium, Farmers Field, would sit right next door to the Staples Center, and compete against Cowboys Stadium as the premier venue for events such as the Final Four

The L.A. City Council has approved, 12-0, a non-binding agreement to proceed with the demolition/relocation of part of the L.A. Convention Center, to make room for AEG's planned 72,000 seat NFL stadium, which already has sold naming rights to Farmers Insurance, to be dubbed "Farmers Field." The relocation of the Convention Center facility would be funded by $275 million in city bonds; AEG would pay for the new football stadium and two parking garages.

City officials expect the stadium to create more than 14,000 construction jobs and 6,300 permanent jobs while making it possible for the city to renovate its Convention Center at a time of tight budgets. Still, the proposal has drawn sharp questions from residents who live near the stadium site who are worried about the traffic that will pour onto local streets and the 110/10 freeway interchange.

Well, jobs are good, and better the 110/10 interchange, where people are used to madness during big conventions and Lakers games, than at the junction of the 57, 60, and 10, where rival "Los Angeles Football Stadium" is looking to be constructed. An L.A. team should be in L.A., not in Pasadena or Industry.

But who, exactly, will fill this stadium (or the unfortunate City of Industry alternative) with well-heeled celebrities, wannabees, and fans of both? Given that the lockout is over, this autumn will mark the start of the 17th consecutive season the country's second-largest city has gone without an NFL team. Here are the six most often mentioned contenders:

1. Jacksonville Jaguars - Locals can't watch most home games given the need to blackout the perpetually undersold stadium. Also, the team sucks, with the likelihood of bringing home a Super Bowl trophy in the near future looking pretty bleak. Gotta think this is the best bet, given an average-aged stadium, very poor fan support, and little franchise success.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1997 (avg. NFL stadium age: 17.8yrs), it is the 13th oldest NFL stadium.
• Fans/Attendance: Bleacher Report calls them "Probably the worst fans in the league", the avg. 2009 attendance - 49,651/game (30/32); 31/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: In 22 years, they have won 0 League Championships and 0 Conference Championships; they won Division Championships in '98 and '99.

2. San Diego Chargers - I hate this idea, for the same reason I hate the Raiders coming to L.A. There's no reason that California shouldn't have an NFL team for each major city, and grumbling Angelenos don't want their smaller neighbor's hand-me-downs. Also, this is mostly about stadium issues; no doubt Qualcomm is an old p.o.s., but Supercharger fans are aplenty in "America's Finest City," and this is a team that has been quite good and a perennial contender in recent years. Unfortunately for San Diegans, the Chargers are the next team on the list that will be in search for a new stadium, and there are two in L.A. that plan to be a-callin'.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1967, it is the 5th oldest NFL stadium.
• Fans/Attendance: avg. 2009 attendance - 67,543 (18/32); 24/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: 1 League Championship, 1 Conference Championship, 15 Division Championships, including their last playoff appearance in 2009.

3. Oakland Raiders - The saying goes, "You can't go back again." Clearly that isn't true for the Raiders, who returned to Oakland after winning a Super Bowl and making the playoffs 6 of 12 years in L.A. But as they say, "The Raiders moved to L.A., and back to Oakland. No one in Los Angeles seemed to notice." (at 1:45)

The Raiders have an even older stadium than San Diego, and despite having "the craziest and scariest fans in the league," they also have the lowest attendance in the league, in raw numbers and by capacity filled. They are one of the winning-est franchises on this list, no doubt; they are the only franchise to play in the Super Bowl in four different decades (the other: the Pittsburgh Steelers). But success has little to do with where the Raiders play, apparently, and Al "Just Win" Davis would have no qualms bringing the team back to L.A. or its suburbs, regardless of the collective groan from everyone outside of Raider Nation.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1966, 4th oldest NFL stadium.
• Fans/Attendance: avg. 2009 attendance - 44,284 (32/32); 32/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: 3 League Championships, 4 Conference Championships, 15 Division Championships, including their last playoff appearance in 2002.

4. St. Louis Rams - The "other" former L.A. team, the Rams are a sad tale of early success without long-term fan support. Having won a pre-merger NFL Championship in 1951, six seasons after charging out of Cleveland, the Rams spent a solid 48 years in Southern California, and may have been cemented as "the" L.A. team, but for the notorious 1979 move to Anaheim. Anaheim, as Angelenos will let you know in no vague terms, is in Orange County, not Los Angeles; Orange County is not Los Angeles. Trying to name any team in the O.C. "Los Angeles" is an insult not taking lightly, as vitriol toward the Anaheim Angels goes to show (no, their inaccurate marketing name change will not be used by me). L.A. mostly rejected the Rams for the newcomer, Super Bowl winning, downtown stadium-having Raiders, and the Rams were among the most impacted by the League's new blackout rules, never really getting the attendance they expected at the co-located Angels Stadium. An 11-5 season in 1989 seemed to signal resurgence, but the 49ers utterly destroyed them in the NFC game, sealing their fate and causing Georgia Frontiere to flee with her team to St. Louis in 1995. Despite moving to the Midwest, the Rams have always remained a part of the NFC West. With the sports-mogul Kroenke family (who also own the Denver Nuggets and Colorado Avalanche) as the new owners, and attendance at the bottom of the league despite good performance in the early 00s and a re-energized team behind the arm of 2011 Offensive Rookie of the Year Sam Bradford, it may be time for a team that spent most of the merged NFL's existence in the City of Angels to return.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1995, 14th oldest NFL stadium.
• Fans/Attendance: avg. 2009 attendance - 55,237 (29/32), 29/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: 3 League Championships, 6 Conference Championships, 15 Division Championships. Last playoff appearance - 2004.

5. Buffalo Bills - The Bills have not won a league championship since 1965, and are the only franchise to ever lose four consecutive Super Bowls. Four. I lost a lot of quarters as a kid betting on the Bills to finally pull it off, this year. Ralph Wilson Stadium, home of the Bills (except for the game they play in Toronto each year, leading to a significant Canadian following) was built in 1973, only 6 years younger than decrepit Qualcomm in San Diego and 9 years older than "'Unintentionally-Collapsible Roof" Metrodome in the Twin Cities. Bills fans are hardcore, showing up at high rates (95.9% in 2009) to an outdoor stadium known as the windiest NFL stadium in the country, and in spite of poor performance for the last decade.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1973, it is the 7th oldest NFL stadium.
• Fans/Attendance: avg. 2009 attendance - 70,128/game (10/32); 22/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: 2 League Championships, 4 Conference Championships, 10 Division Championships; last playoff appearance was 1999.

6. Minnesota Vikings - How is this on this list? They have stadium issues, like the Chargers (although there will be no snow storms covering San Diego's field), but it seems ridiculous that fans willing to trudge through devastating snow storms to watch games in Detroit and at the outdoor U of Minn. stadium are going to give up their beloved Vikings without a fight. Also like the Chargers, this is a high performance team that has been successful of late, with 7 playoff performances in the 90s and 4 in the 00s. Although, I imagine if the Vikings owner decides to flee to warmer climes, Vikings fans may be too distracted by "mini-burgers" and FQ to notice.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1982, it is the 9th oldest NFL stadium, and the only one with a collapsible roof.
• Fans/Attendance: avg. 2009 attendance - 63,775 (24/32); 10/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: 1 League Championship, 4 Conference Championships, 18 Division Championships, including their last playoff appearance in 2009.

Wildcard: New Orleans Saints - Prior to Hurricane Katrina, there was a lot of talk about the mediocre success of the Saints, and their name was bandied about as a possible future L.A. team. But after the almost-storybook 2006 season, and the franchise-best, Super Bowl champs 2009 season, it seems unlikely--and perhaps downright cruel--to take away NOLA's pride and joy.

Metrics:

• Stadium: b.1975, 8th oldest in the NFL. Post-Katrina renovations completed summer 2011.
• Fans/Attendance: avg. 2009 attendance - 560,840 (11/32), 19/32 by stadium capacity %.
• Franchise Performance: 1 League Championship (2009), 6 Conference Championships, 15 Division Championships. Made the playoffs in 2010.

Prediction: Two L.A. teams, the L.A. Chargers and the L.A. Jaguars, with one actually in L.A. at AEG's Convention Center site, and the other in the City of Industry's "Los Angeles Football Stadium."

The Raiders have other options, like sharing a new Santa Clara stadium with the 49ers (whose Candlestick Park is the 3rd oldest NFL stadium, b.1960), or building their own in Oakland near the decaying Coliseum, so I suspect test balloons of moving south is more about negotiations and posturing than anything else. Santa Clara may be 40 miles south of Oakland (and SF, for that matter), but that's still a lot closer than the L.A. Convention Center, 400 miles south. The Vikings and Bills aren't going anywhere, with the sort of fan bases that they have. That leaves the Rams, but I imagine the Jaguars and the NFL are both more desperate to end the failed Jacksonville experiment than to give the Rams a second-shot at thriving in sunny SoCal.

Then again, it'll soon be 17 seasons without even one team, so, as always with L.A. and football, everything is speculation until the first kickoff.

Black & Red: MLS Power Rankings

- DC United Coach Ben Olsen is not happy that his biggest fan ranks his side at #9

If you like MLS, you are probably reading a proper football blog instead of this tripe. So, you'll already know that you should be reading the SB Nation blog Black and Red United, who has come up with awesome MLS Power Rankings. They are, of course, most awesome because they confirm that LA Galaxy are the best in show, at the moment, and on a clear path to defending their Supporters' Shield (best regular season performance). Now if only they could win another MLS Cup. See the full article here.

Black and Red United's Week 20 Power Rankings:

1. LA Galaxy
2. Seattle Sounders FC
3. Real Salt Lake
4. FC Dallas
5. Colorado Rapids
6. Columbus Crew
7. Philadelphia Union
8. Sporting Kansas City
9. DC United
10. Chivas USA
11. Houston Dynamo
12. Portland Timbers
13. Red Bull NY
14. San Jose Earthquakes
15. New England Revolution
16. Vancouver Whitecaps
17. Chicago Fire
18. Toronto FC

Kevin Durant's Hometown Love

The other day, the Basketball Jones notified the blogosphere of Kevin Durant's tattoos in a picture. He has a bunch, but they are all hidden from view when he dons his Oklahoma City jersey. The Thunder are sometimes lauded for not having visible tattoos, which is an odd plaudit with, like everything in basketball, some racial aspect. Regardless, Kevin Durant is from the DC area. He didn't go to then local powerhouses Georgetown or Maryland, but he still has some love for DC.
Witness:

The first thing I noticed was the Walgreens-esque W of the Washington Nationals. I admit, I gave a little "hell yeah" in the dour confines of my office. Of course, the exclamation was tempered by the knowledge that the Nats would likely lose to the Braves later yesterday evening. Fortunately, probability didn't work out and the Nats crushed the Braves 9-3. Thanks, Kevin Durant.

I think.

Jürgen Klinsmann's First Press Conference as USMNT Head Coach

Highlights from the introductory press conference with new US Men's National Team heald coach Jürgen Klinsmann:

Big focus on Klinsmann's living in the U.S. for 13 years: Is this really that big of a deal? I think this matter's more to casual and fair weather fans than the core US soccer fans who just want to see the team and game--throughout all levels of development--improve.

"The style of play should reflect the culture of the country": In the same thread, Klinsmann and US Soccer Federation President Sunil Gulati both emphasized that Klinsmann isn't going to try to impose a "European style of play" (read: German) on the US game. This is probably a good thing, since the U.S. side doesn't have the talent to dependably profit off of counter-attacks the way Germany does. But it is less clear what Klinsmann thinks the U.S.-style is/will be; he sort of punts on that follow up question and says that he'll spend the next few months talking to MLS and other U.S. coaches to get a sense of this.

"No immediate decision on coaching staff": One major marker of Klinsmann's run as German Men's National Team head coach was to immediately clean house and surround himself with coaches he trusted. It looks like that won't be happening quite the same way with the USMNT; Klinsmann says he'll take some time to work with different folks and see who meshes. Since he's starting a new cycle and won't have a major tournament (I think?) to deal with until CONCACAF Gold Cup in 2013, he has some breathing room before settling on the staff that will guide the Yanks into Brazil 2014.

"American youth" don't focus enough on soccer: In perhaps a hopeful nod to the fact that the U.S. soccer talent pipeline is broken, Klinsmann made two important comments about the development of U.S. youth players. First, he notes that, unlike European youth talent who go pro at 18, U.S. soccer players usually got to college. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying people shouldn't go to college. But in the U.S., the only college-to-pro pipelines are in football and basketball, because in those two sports, college ball is professional sports. The players don't get paid, but they get full scholarships, and the rest of the business is just as massive as the NFL or NBA. Compare that to the other Big Three sport in the States, baseball, where really talented players go into the minors at 18, sometimes with deals with MLB for scholarships to go to college after their playing career ends. This may actually end up being a better deal for players, who get paid to train and play in the D-league even while knowing that their odds of ending up pro is slim, and getting to the highest level of the sport is slimmer. I have no idea how hockey works. In any case, it seems much more likely that youth development will succeed if soccer follows more closely to baseball, rather than football/basketball. We will see if Klinsmann's appointment will pair well with MLS moves toward a D-league (USL's PDL).

Klinsmann's second comment about youth development was that American youth talent don't spend enough time playing. He used the example of Mexican kids who will train in an organized way for maybe 4 hours a day, but then play pick-up ball or just mess around with ball skills for another 5 hours, so that they're spending pretty much every waking moment playing soccer. As I alluded to in my last post (Bradley Out, Klinsmann In), the U.S. youth development pipeline is over-reliant on organized play, on expensive traveling club soccer and college ball that excludes a lot of undiscovered talent out there. Discovering the "U.S. Style" may in large part be a matter of figuring out who we are missing; in finding that, we may discover we are much more a soccer country than we ever knew.

Good News, Soccer Fans! Bradley out, Klinsmann in!

- left, outgoing head coach Bob Bradley; right, incoming head coach Jürgen Klinsmann.

After the USMNT collapsed in the first knockout stage of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa (losing to Ghana), the calls for the removal of head coach Bob Bradley were louder than ever. Just as loud as when previous head coach Bruce Arena led the team to a Group Stage early exit in 2006 (also here losing to the Black Stars in its final game of the tournament). In USMNT soccer, it seems, the fans bear little tolerance for failure.

US soccer fans rejoiced today at the news that the much maligned Bradley has finally been fired, replaced by proven-winner Jürgen Klinsmann. Klinsmann, it is very important to remember, was who they wanted as USMNT head coach back in 2006 in the first place; the Yanks only settled on Bradley after Klinsmann declined to take the helm.

While some are already leaping to the defense of Bradley, arguing that the blame should not lie on the coach but on the players and American culture. Looking at his strengths and weaknesses, I tend to think he may have been a good national team coach eventually, but was still a child in a grown-up's world (in coaching terms) when he was thrust into the limelight. Let's take a look at both the outgoing and incoming coaches.

Bob Bradley's record as USMNT head coach:
Time: 2006-2011 (1 World Cup Cycle; appointed following 2006 World Cup)
Record: 43-25-12 (53.75% win)
Highlights: Beating UEFA Champion and World #1 Spain (and breaking Spain's 35-game unbeaten streak) in the 2009 Confederations Cup Semifinals; winning the 2007 CONCACAF Gold Cup
Low points: Losing in poor form 2010 World Cup Round of 16 to Ghana during extra time; losing the 2011 Gold Cup to Mexico 4-2 after going up 2-0 early on.
Strengths: Intelligent student of the game, focus on developing young talent (a continuation, no doubt, of his previous job coaching the U-23 national squad)
Weaknesses: Over-reliance on the broken U.S. talent development system; risk-averse; media/fan-un-savvy; us-vs-them-nationalistic mentality; tendency of starting his mediocre son Michael over more talented players

Now, let's look at the incoming USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann:
Record:
German Men's National Team head coach, 2004-2006, 20-8-6
Bayern Munich head coach, 2008-2009, 25-9-9
Overall, 45-17-15 (56.96% win)
Highlights: Third place in the 2006 World Cup (with a quarter-final win over Argentina); Quarter Finals result in 2008/9 UEFA Champions League
Low points: 1-4 2006 World Cup Qualifier loss to Italy.
Strengths: Aggressive stance toward front office reform and hiring successful coaching staff; focus on building institutions to foster young talent
Weaknesses: Overly offensive-minded (a big weaknesses given that the USMNT's chronically spotting backfield needs a lot of help); tendency to piss off The Bosses; lack of concern for media coverage

Klinsmann was successful at revamping the way that both the German national squad and Bayern Munich looked for and fostered talent. In a country where professional soccer isn't even mentioned as a "Big Four Sport," it is hard to predict whether the successful German model will translate. LAT sportswriter Grahame Jones offers this bit of advice for the new coach:

The answer [...] is to explore new territory. Go beyond the ranks of MLS and the U.S. players overseas. Go into the barrios. Look for kids playing in unregistered leagues. Do some real scouting at the grass-roots level. Accept that the price of long-term success might be short-term failure.

Football through 2021!

The new CBA between the NFL Players Association and the owners cements football into America's autumns and winters through 2021. This time, there is no opt-out clause, which allowed the owners to lockout the players from summer training camp this year.

Despite the mainstream media fail which tried to make us think that the NFLPA was just being greedy (I will repeat it ad naseum: NFL players make an average, equivalent/estimated lifetime income of $89,000/year), by and large the fans knew that the players wanted to play, and stuck by them through this process. In classy fashion, the NFLPA created this video to thank the fans:



Details of the CBA are at Sports Illustrated. The players are making slightly less, with a slightly lower salary cap and restrictions on the earnings of rookies, but by and large, there are some really major wins for the players. Key among them is extension of health coverage options to retirees, a Legacy Fund to support pensions, and more protection of players' health during practices and pre-season.

Significantly, the controversial proposal to extend the season to 18 games has been scrapped, and cannot be approved before 2021 without NFLPA approval.

Are you ready for some football? Because the players are.

BBALL AT SEA!

 This is very cool.  On 11-11-11, UNC and Michigan State will play the first ever college basketball game on an aircraft carrier and on an active flattop. Which ship you ask? Why the USS Carl Vinson of course. For those of you not in the know, the Carl Vinson was the ship used to bury Osama bin Laden at sea after he was killed by Navy SEALs.

B-Ball and Fighter Jets. Hell Yeah!  

Let the aftermath begin (updated)

Update: Clearly, I spoke too soon: Players decline to vote on owner's proposal.

Original post begins here.

- image from 2/11/11 initial negotiations, pre-lockout, via Business Insider.

Freakonomics Blog weighs in on what the aftermath of the new NFL Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) will be if the NFL Players Association votes to approve (the blog suggests that they will). It's clear from what has been proposed that the players were always in the weaker negotiating position. The owners has a windfall year of profits plus guaranteed TV rights revenue to keep them warm through a long, football-less winter, while the players were looking at going from an average, equivalent/estimated lifetime income of $89,000/year to being unemployed. So the players, especially rookies, getting soaked and the owners getting an even larger profit (hey, a billion dollars just isn't what it used to be!), while disappointing, is by no means surprising. And though I don't have any final details of the CBA to look at, it seems to me that this is a much better result than what the owners were originally pushing for. To that end, the Players Association is to be commended for holding out for the best deal possible and not completely screwing over players of the future.

But you're not here for my political commentary on management-labor relations in 21st Century American sports... so here's the blurb on how this will affect the actual game in the 2011 season:

Free agency is going be chaotic and messy. Once the deal is finally ratified by everyone – and we are not sure when that is going to happen — then we are going to see a very rapid free agency period. Some teams are over the cap right now. Because NFL contracts are not guaranteed, some players – who will be voting for this agreement – will suddenly be out of a job. Teams that are looking to fill holes will now be looking at free agents. And the time they have to look at these free agents is very short, so I would expect some mistakes are going to be made in the next few days, i.e. overpaying for talent, passing on talent you should keep, etc… Furthermore, teams are also going to be looking at all the undrafted free agents – players who would have been contacts by teams last April – at the same time. So however your favorite team’s roster looks like right now, it could look very different in just a few weeks.

What's Up with the Blog?

Hey all you Sports Chat readers, I hope all is going well and if you are anywhere in the continental United States you are staying cool and drinking lots of water (or beer and then water....or just beer.....). Anyhow, this is more of status update than a real blog post.

As you have noticed, posts have been down dramatically over the past 6 weeks. To be honest, with the NHL season over and both the NFL and NBA players locked out, we have been a little short on topics.  Sure we could have written about Hope Solo and the U.S. Woman's team, but.....that is so over played!

 MLB you ask? When we tried to do that last summer the click rate was about zero.  MLS...those are the only posts we have (thanks Kev, you have kept the blog alive).

So please be patient and stick with us. Once the NFL is back (hopefully by today) we will start blogging on that.  We will also try to do a MLB trade recap and also a breakdown of free agent signings in the  NHL (yes Kathleen I think I just volunteered you :-)

Have a great weekend and DRINK LOTS OF BEER!

J for J.B. Sports.

MLS: Halfway There

Adam Taylor at Black, Red & United has a great post breaking down DC United's performance so far this year. He comments that United is just on the wrong side of tie-breakers if the playoffs were to be decided today, which inspired me to look back at who makes the list right now.

With 2011 expansion teams, the league is now at 18 teams (including three in California and two in Texas). It's a very (true) West-heavy team, leading to the bizarre current split where the Texas teams are split (FC Dallas (96deg 48'W is West; Houston Dynamo (95deg 21'W is East), with Sporting Kansas City called East right up the longitude (94deg 37'W). The Western Conference also continues to be the better Conference this season. 2011 marks the first year of Wildcard playoffs, and an increase from top 2 per Conference to top 3. The seedings today would look like this (with Overall Ranking and Points in parentheses):

WEST
1. LA Galaxy (1)(39)
2. Seattle Sounders (2)(35)
3. FC Dallas (3)(34)

EAST
1. NY Red Bulls (5)(28)
2. Philadelphia Union (6)(28)
3. Columbus Crew (7)(27)

WILDCARD
7. Real Salt Lake (4)(30)(West)
8. Colorado Rapids (8)(27)(West)
9. Houston Dynamo (9)(23)(East)
10. Chivas USA (10)(22-wins hth tiebreaker w/Sporting KC, DCU, and SJ)(West)

Supporter's Shield winner, being the team with the most points at the end of the season, the overall #1 seed (right now, defending Supporter's Shield winner Galaxy) plays the lowest ranking team out of the two Wildcard matchups (7 v 10, 8 v 9). The higher ranking team out of the Wildcard would play the other Conference's #1.

Last year, if you remember, Colorado was the Eastern Conference Champions, due to the fact that the bottom four are picked for regular season performance regardless of conference. If the second half of the season looks like the first (and last season, for that matter), expect another Western-dominated playoffs, with Real Salt Lake and the Rapids forcing the East to defend their existence, yet again.

Can y'all shut up for a second

Shut up.

Seriously. Shut up. You are ruining basketball for me.

Here is how: LeBron James. Clutch. Kobe. Dirk. Jordan.

And guess what? Every single argument you even dare to consider in that tiny little pea brain of yours, stuck in its paleolithic search for gratification, has been fought and won by the other side. No matter what side you take. You can argue until you are Oklahoma City Thunder blue in the face but you are dead wrong. Your heroes have their antecedents, who were also heroes. Learn your history.

Don't tell me that 6 for 24 is Finals MVP worthy. Don't tell me that 5 rings vs. none is an argument. Don't tell me the dunk contest isn't fixed.

Don't tell me this isn't the prisoner's dilemma + professional wrestling.

You're wrong. Get over it.

And just so you know, there's a difference between having a post game and taking advantage of having a post game. You don't have to believe or parrot everything you read.