The NHL playoffs just got a little more interesting

Last night the Boston Bruins scored the lone goal in an exciting game 7 and secured their position as the Eastern Conference champs. They are now on their way to meet the Vancouver Canucks in the Stanley Cup finals. I'm a huge hockey fan, but this post-season I have been more intrigued with the NBA than the NHL. I have no affection for any of the final four teams - Vancouver Canucks vs. San Jose Sharks in the west; Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning in the east. Who cares? I can't get excited about any of these teams and the drama in the NBA playoffs has been irresistible. After last night, the NHL got a whole lot more interesting. I still don't have any strong feelings about Vancouver or Boston, but goalie-for-goalie, this could prove to be an amazing series.

The goalie matchup for the Stanley Cup finals is Roberto Luongo for Vancouver and Tim Thomas for Boston. Both are nominated for the Vezina trophy for their regular-season performance this season, and it is not the first nomination for either. Thomas won in 2009, Luongo has previously been nominated twice, losing to future Hall-of-Famer Martin Brodeur both years. They have both made All-Star appearances and have proven themselves to be among the best goaltenders in the NHL. Despite all of these accolades, this is the closest either of them have ever been to securing their name on the Stanley Cup.

Luongo and Thomas have strikingly similar statistics over the past few seasons, and they have both proven themselves to be outstanding goaltenders. But it is also their reputations that make for a spectacular matchup. Both goalies are consistently inconsistent. I have seen them both on top of their game, worthy of the Stanley Cup. I have also seen them both choke on huge games when it mattered most, to the point where I had to wonder if they just had problems performing under pressure. Every great goalie gets lit up from time to time. Even Brodeur (who has won the Vezina 4 out of the last 7 seasons) has broken the hearts of New Jersey Devils fans by allowing repeated soft goals. Every goalie has a bad day. Until now, it has seemed that Luongo and Thomas have a bad day at the most inopportune times. So far this season they have led their teams through the conference finals. If they are both on their game, this could be a hard-fought seven-game series. If one or both of them buckle under pressure, it could be a heartbreaking series.

After a month of apathy, I am rejuvenated and looking forward to watch two of the best goalies in the league battle it out for the Stanley Cup. I still don't have any affection toward either team, but I have to pull for Tim Thomas in this battle. Luongo was chosen #4 overall in the 1997 NHL draft and began his NHL career in 2000. Thomas was not exactly on the same fast-track. Thomas was selected in the 9th round in 1994, #217 overall. Despite being five years older than Luongo (almost to the day, Luongo was born April 4, 1979 - Thomas on April 15, 1974,) Thomas had a longer wait to get the call up to the NHL. Thomas put in his time in the minors and overseas until securing his place as the Bruins netminder in 2005. Thomas also grew up in the deteriorating city of Flint, Michigan. How can you not pull for this guy?

The Stanley Cup finals begin on Wednesday, June 1st and games will be broadcast on either NBC or VS.

Most NFL players are not "millionaires"

Now that the NFL lockout is back in force and everyone and their dog is getting back in on what they think a "reasonable" compromise would be to get to a 2011-2012 season, I don't want to hear anymore of this "billionaires vs. millionaires" stuff. Most NFL players are not millionaires:

• Average NFL player salary: $1.9 million

• Median NFL player salary: $770,000

• Average NFL career length: 3.5 years

This means that most NFL players are making $2,695,000 for their *entire career*, which would come to a bit over $89,000 a year for a standard 30-year career (It's actually probably a lot less than that, since they'll get taxed at a higher rate for those years that they're playing). By no means are these folks impoverished, but they're also not "millionaires" in the way that most Americans think of that these days.

This is all before talking about dramatically above average medical costs (the NFL does not cover former player's medical costs, though it does help fund a heart screening program with other league and player affiliated organizations), increased risk of certain chronic and degenerative diseases, and an average of 2-3 years life expectancy lost for every season played.

Next sales approach: Buy Timberwolves tickets or we will punch a kitten in the face

The Business of Sports has published some current incentives from NBA teams struggling to sign up new season ticket holders for the 2011-2012 season. While I confess that I was sold by the Washington Wizards 3-year price guarantee and enthusiastically recruited others to go in on tickets with myself and fellow JB Sports Chat blogger, Beau, I must admit - we didn't get nearly as good of a deal as the Timberwolves fans. On the plus side, we only have to watch the Timberwolves once. They have to see them every night.

The Minnesota Timberwolves and the Houston Rockets are both using the same incentive of a "Pay the Pick" pricing offer. The final price will be determined by the results of the NBA Draft Lottery tomorrow. If their team draws the #1 pick, season ticket holders pay $1 per game. If they draw the #2 pick, $2 per game, and so on. This is less of an incentive for Houston, who narrowly missed the playoffs and have only 5 chances for a top 3 pick in the lottery and probability leaves them with the 14th selection. Minnesota finished with the worst record in the league for the 2010-2011 season, leaving them with 250 lottery chances. At best they will win the #1 pick, but worst case scenario will leave the Pay the Pick price at $4 per game. Coincidentally, $4 per is the same price the tickets sell for on eBay whenever the Wolves visit the Verizon Center.

While I would love to get away with paying $43 for a full season + 2 pre-season games to see the Wizards, I still feel good about our investment. For $16 per ticket, we have great seats in the upper level, fairly close to the center of the court. That's a bit overpriced to watch the Wizards play the Timberwolves, but an insanely low price to watch the Lakers, Heat, and the Celtics. With Ted Leonsis calling the shots and a little added luck from sending John Wall to the Draft Lottery in drag, we've got a good chance at building a decent team in the next few years. And hell, even if we don't - $16 is still a bargain to watch NBA basketball. Unless of course you're driving around in the bitter Minnesota winter to see the Timberwolves. Loyal T-wolves fans, I salute you!

Will Ochocinco last ocho seconds?

You've got to hand it to Chad Ochocinco. Even in the middle of a lockout, he manages to keep himself in the spotlight. After a short-lived attempt at a soccer career, number 85 has moved on to new challenges. Earlier this month he accepted a challenge from Professional Bull Riders to try his hand at riding a bull. If he stays on for 8 seconds, he'll get to name the bull. If he gets thrown off, breaks every bone in his body and jeopardizes his $6 million next season in the NFL... well, if anyone can go through all of that and still land on their feet, it's Ochocinco.

Does he really mean literally?

JetMan!

The JetMan has done it again.  This time flying over the Grand Cannon.  Check out the video here!  I don't know if this is really sports related, but it was just to f'ing cool not to post!

Below is a video of JetMan "jetting" across the English Channel!

New Look Wizards

While Kathleen pointed out big things afoot with the Wizards' sartorial sensibilities, I have to step in and point out that the new jerseys are... AWESOME. From the Wizards' store:

The throwback font with the lower case reference to the Bullets, the retro horizontal stripes, mmm, nice jersey.

And... in case you really want to go retro...

The Red & the Wall: The New Wizards

Something big is happening to the Washington Wizards franchise and I will give you a hint: It does not begin with winning basketball games. Not yet, anyway. Of course that's their ultimate goal, but that's going to take some time. They have to begin by improving upon their previous season record. The good news is, finishing the 2010-2011 season at .280 should make improvement a viable option.

For weeks I have been receiving emails from the Washington Wizards like the one I received today:

Tomorrow the Wizards will Rock the Red, and hopefully begin to resemble the Washington Capitals franchise in other ways as well. The owner is now the same, the colors will soon be the same, the #1 draft pick to build the team around seems hauntingly familiar as well. (Although I'm hard-pressed to find many more similarities between Alex Ovechkin and John Wall.) Soon we can look forward to the Wizards following the Caps footsteps and dominate throughout the regular NBA season so that they can roll over in the playoffs and shamefully lose to lower seeded teams.

Even apathetic goals like that will have to wait a couple more years.

I give the Wizards credit for their rebranding efforts. Even without the talk of a likely NBA lockout beginning in July, the Wizards are a tough sell. DC loves a winner and even on the rare occasions when they made it to the post-season, the franchise has only seen past the first round of the playoffs once since 1982. To generate season ticket sales, the Wizards are currently guaranteeing a 3-year price freeze. If you buy a ticket package this year, you are guaranteed that the price will not increase until after the 2013-2014 season has ended. I know several Capitals season ticket holders who wish they had a deal like that back in 2007 when the Caps began Rocking the Red again!

After the excitement of the color change, it won't be long before we learn more about what is in store for the new Wizards. The NBA Draft Lottery is one week away on May 17, 2011. The NBA Draft is in June.

Russell Westbrook

In watching Saturday's Thunder/Memphis game I was shocked not by the fact that the Grizz won, they have been playing some of the best basketball in the NBA since the all-star break.  What really got me was the play of Mr. Westbrook and Durant's reaction to the whole thing.

Three things are very clear to even the most casual NBA fan.  (1) Westbrook is a very good NBA player.  (2)  Kevin Durant is a transcendent NBA player (arguably the best at scoring the basketball on the planet). (3)  There is NO reason why with 4 minutes left in the fourth, and Memphis making a run, Westbrook should be trying to carry the OKC offense.


Now if every fan can see these three clear truths, why can't Westbrook?  The Mind of an NBA Point Guard has a a few answers to that questions. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t know who he is, and that’s a problem. But the bigger problem is that he doesn’t realize who he is playing with.
He is playing with the greatest scorer on earth. All Westbrook needs to do is put pressure on the other team by providing the THREAT of scoring. In a perfect world, the ball runs through Kevin Durant, and as soon as the defense over-commits to him, the ball swings to Westbrook who makes them pay.

Norm Macdonald is afraid of black people

Norm Macdonald has a sports show on Comedy Central. JB Sports Chat hockey writer, DC fan, neighbor and friend Kathleen introduced me to his show this evening. We watched about an episode, maybe two. It was bad. This came up because, earlier, while in the process of buying 2011-2012 season tickets to the Washington Wizards, Kathleen noted that the ticket salesman felt that John Wall had been robbed of the Rookie of the Year Award, which went to Blake Griffin. I found this delusional at best given Wall's green light, and a quick discussion of Griffin's unrelenting fury ensued. Anyhow, Griffin appeared on Macdonald's show, and we watched his appearance. It was funny, but, like many jokes on the show, dragged on too long. It was after a number of middling attempts at topical sports humor that Macdonald's weird fear of black people became apparent, and trumped his one-liners for my attention.

In multiple jokes and skits, Macdonald played to racial stereotypes of black males. He wielded racial tropes without finesse, satire, or social commentary. Instead, he invested his jokes in those tropes. To put it bluntly, he was racist. Obviously, calling someone a racist these days invokes an immediate backlash from whites stating that acknowledging race and cultural differences isn't the same as racism, and maybe it shouldn't matter since it was harmless and in good fun.

For example, Danny Granger, a black forward for the Indiana Pacers, referred to Joakim Noah, a mixed race center for the Chicago Bulls, as a coward. Noah's mom was Miss Sweden. Macdonald stated that those are fighting words where he comes from, but he's *insert typical Norm Macdonald sarcasm here* "not sure" what that means in the "black community." The audience is meant to supply the punchline - but what is that punchline? The joke, for the unaware, or the racist NBA fan (weird, no?), is that what?, someone will be shot since black culture is gun/crime/gang culture when it comes to stereotyping? While there were plenty of other jokes to be made, and sarcastic ones at that, Macdonald opted for the joke that implies a stereotype.

At another time on his show, Macdonald made (at least) two comments (or were they jokes?) regarding the boxer Shane Mosley and his upcoming fight with multi-weight champion Manny Pacquiao. Both jokes were predicated on Macdonald's "belief" that black fighters are better than lighter skinned fighters. Both jokes were predicated on a long-held racist fear in white America: black people are physically stronger than white people, but do not have the moral or intellectual wherewithal to participate in a just society.



I'm no Tim Wise, but I think Norm Macdonald is afraid of black people. Then again, most racists are.

Ever Wonder How to Squander a Large Fortune?

Have you ever asked yourself the question: How could somebody make $100 million and have absolutely nothing to show for it in less than 10 years? Isn't the impossibility of doing this what made Brewster's Millions so darn funny?

(That and Pryor teaming up with John Candy. On a side note, how much money on crack and cocaine do you think they spent between the two of them? Over or under a million?)

Well these 15 men can tell you! (As a hint, start by buying a tiger, leasing a yacht, and marrying at least 3 women without a prenup.)

Did anybody find my $400 million?

Overstock.com! Coliseum

Oh Al Davis, you senile old man! Is $7.2 million really worth naming your stadium Overstock.com Coliseum? I would say that is a big fat resounding NO! Readers, why don't we all pool our pennies and buy ourselves some stadium naming rights? J.B. Sports on the side of a stadium would be nice. Or would we go absurd like a crazy celebrity and name the stadium Apple Tomato Parsley Vodka Field? Hmmmm... too many possibilities.

Polls!

Who has a worse beard: James Harden or Brian Wilson?

Who would you be more afraid to leave your children with for an hour: Mike Tyson or Ron Artest?

Who has the worst tattoos: Bird Man (Chris Anderson) or Dennis Rodman?

These are the hard hitting poll questions that you can expect to see on J.B. Sports. To make them work, however, and to keep me motivated to keep posting, we need YOU to vote on the polls and vote often.

Oh, and poll suggestions would be great too!

Keywords: Washington Capitals, New York Rangers, and Crazy

According to the Sporting News, Rangers Left Wing and resident whiner Sean Avery claims that Capitals Center Brooks Laich bit him during Saturday's game. On D.C. Sports Bog, Dan Steinberg posted a video of the alleged incident. It's hard to tell when Avery's glove came off. According to a quote by Laich on the Sports Bog,

“And [Avery’s] fingers were in my mouth, and I remember thinking about that, that I’m not [going to be] stupid about biting a player. He was trying to eye gouge me, he was sticking his fingers in my mouth. But that play happened to me where somebody bit me and I thought it was a low, disrespectful, gutless play, and I’m not gonna do that.”

I'm sure we all side with Avery on this one. Hockey has really gone downhill. It used to be the kind of game where you could gouge someone's eyeball and stick your fingers in their mouth without worrying about them pulling a low-class move like clenching their teeth together.

In other news of the crazy, former Capitals Left Wing Donald Brashear was picked up by the Rangers for the 2009-2010 season and has been playing for Canada's LNAH for the current season. According to wikipedia, "...the LNAH is not known for its skill level. Its teams employ many enforcers and has a rather infamous reputation for on-ice antics that mostly include fisticuffs." A close friend and lifelong hockey fan described this league to me as , "Basically MMA on skates."

It should come as no surprise then that Donald Brashear has a deal to try his hand at cage fighting. This looks to be a logical career move for Brashear. He will likely do very well at MMA since it does not require puck handling. It definitely seems to match up his talents better than being a winger in the NHL.

Cuban hit in the face

From the AP, Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, was hit in the face during Game 3 of the Mavs-Blazers series. Mark Cuban owns Synergy Sports, which provides statistical analysis to teams around the league. Though the Elias Sports Bureau may disagree, and no doubt Abbott is kicking himself for not doing this himself, it's clear that, in playoff games against the Portland Trailblazers where Mark Cuban is hit in the face, the Mavericks lose.

In other news, Andre Miller lost his gum.

Soy un perdedor dolorido, bebé

St. Louis Cardinals fans get crazy with the cheese whiz Wednesday night when the Nats met the Cards. Cardinals pitcher Ryan Franklin responds to boos in his own stadium:

"You're either a fan or you're not. You don't boo your own team. I don't care who you are or what you say. Just because you spent your money to come here and watch us play, and somebody happens to make one bad pitch and gives up a homer, you don't start booing them. I've been here for five years, and four years I've been pretty good. You should go write stories about the fans booing. They're supposed to be the best fans in baseball. Yeah right."

I mostly agree with this statement. The only part that is arguable is when he suggests the fans turned on him for giving up a homer on one bad pitch. The quote should read about when, "...somebody happens to get four blown saves out of five attempts, give away a 9th-inning lead here and there, get removed as closer, and allow the Nationals a home run when you're already down by 2, you don't start booing them." It is a more difficult argument when you look at it that way. I will give him that.


I admit, baseball is not my game and the Cardinals are definitely not my team, but I can read a stat sheet. Franklin looks like he's been doing his job for the last couple of years. While I don't think a 38-year old player can rest on his laurels and start to phone it in, I also don't agree with the fans booing their own players. As far as this blogger is concerned, you stick with your team through thick and thin. If you can't stand losing, jump on another bandwagon. There are plenty of places you can voice your frustrations about washed up players and losing games, but the stadium is not where it's done. There is poor sportsmanship on the field and off, and when fans of the home team start to boo their own players, that is a stadium full of sore losers as far as I'm concerned.

MY BREAKUP WITH THE KNICKS

I am officially breaking up with the Knicks.

It isn't that I don't like Melo, but if D-Will was available for a bag of balls, why didn't we send Felton, Gallo, and Chandler to Utah?

I don't even blame Thomas. Good for him for finding a billionaire groupie. Nope the problem is with the ownership and that ain't gonna change!

Any ideas on which NBA team I should start dating?

A recovering Redskins fan on Dan Snyder

My name is Dave, and I am a Redskins fan. I say this with the same embarrassed but empowered admittance that one might have at their first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. But like anyone else taking the first step towards recovery, admitting that there is a problem feels quite liberating.

As the rest of the football world gears up for what will assuredly be one of the most epic battles in the history of the sport in Super Bowl XLV, our city's sports headlines are tied up with nonsense about how Redskins owner Daniel M. Snyder is suing the City Paper over this article, which lambastes him top to bottom as a horrible owner and an unethical businessman, among other things. The lawsuit is on the grounds that the article libels Snyder, unfairly attacks his wife, and uses an allegedly anti-Semitic graphic at the top of the article. The lawsuit is yet another ridiculously bad PR move by the notoriously disliked owner who has turned one of the most beloved cultural icons of the Nation's Capital into the laughing stock of professional sports.

But it's the fans who suffer. Redskins fans, that is. What few of us are left, anyway. Not, say, New York Giants fans. They love Snyder.

Here in Los Angeles, a city that has not hosted an NFL game since 1994, I have received relentless criticism for following one of the most hapless franchises in football. The city that lost TWO football teams considers the Redskins a laughingstock because of Dan Snyder. One might have considered him the worst owner in professional sports long before The Nation labeled him as such. But now, the city that houses the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution watches on as one of its prominent citizens attempts to bully an alternative publication out of its First Amendment rights. Dan Steinberg addresses some of the allegations made by Snyder's legal team. They are outrageous.

But Dan Steinberg has admitted that he is friends with Dave McKenna, author of the infamous City Paper article to which I keep linking. The City Paper has responded to the lawsuit, even set up a legal defense fund to which anyone who hates Dan Snyder and what he's doing can contribute. They are holding their ground, and I believe they are in the right. Of course, I might be a little biased. I like the City Paper. They are off-beat, entertaining, and they voted my brother one of the best bartenders in DC. But surely large sports media outlets are also showing their disdain for the City Paper's article. Only sarcastically. ESPN jokes that putting horns and a goatee on Snyder is offensive to Satan.

The City Paper published the article on November 19th. Snyder ultimately sought action against the piece because according to Redskins COO David Donovan, "I will grant you, nobody reads the City Paper, all right? But that article's been linked to on the Internet a lot of times." Well, Mr. Donovan, that article has been read and linked a lot more in the last week. And you just might have put the City Paper on the map with all this attention.

Search high and low, and you will be hard pressed to find any sympathy for Dan Snyder. He overcharges for parking. He attempted to make it illegal to walk to FedEx Field on game day so he could overcharge for parking. He chopped down trees on National Park Service land to have a better view of the Potomac from his house. The business world decried  the lawsuit as Forbes' Monte Burke asked "what is he thinking?" Brett Haber showed no mercy for Snyder in his editorial on WUSA, stating that his claims of anti-Semitism are "baloney" and stating his attempt to silence a media outlet were more suited for Russia. Said Haber, "It is a classic case of bullying and a man stepping on the First Amendment rights of a legitimate news organization because he doesn't like what they are saying about him." WUSA has set up a "First Amendment Petition" for Snyder to drop the lawsuit.

Meanwhile, Die hard football fans will sit down to the ultimate showdown this Sunday as the Green Bay Packers face the Pittsburgh Steelers. These are two of the most successful franchises in the history of the NFL. And look at their owners. The Rooney family is a beloved institution in Pittsburgh. despite the fact that it has been a declining Rust Belt city much of the last 60 years, there are Steelers fans all over the US. The Packers, despite having the smallest market of any professional sports team in North America, are also popular across the country. Some would argue they have the best owners in sports... the 110,000 residents of the city of Green Bay.

Meanwhile, the few remaining Redskins fans will watch the Super Bowl in shame, being dragged through another tormenting embarrassment as the billionaire we depend on to provide football to a city that loves the sport behaves with the sense of entitlement I would have thought only existed on MTV reality programs about wealthy teenage girls. It is a lonely, embarrassing existence. And those of us that remember a time when the Redskins were the one of the only good things in this town that was geared toward the people who live here,one of the only things that was uniquely DC... well, we're bound to move away or die off at some point. DC has too much else to offer these days for Snyder to expect the unquestioned loyalty of a fan base he abuses and insults with impunity. And this is before even mentioning the fact that the Redskins have languished in mediocrity on the field since Snyder acquired the team in 1999.

I am pretty sure I'm the only die hard Redskins fan among my colleagues, many of them either rightfully disinterested in the sport, or transplants from another area unwilling to switch loyalties for a team so embarrassingly controversial. And the embarrassingly controversial Dan Snyder is only 44 years old. We're stuck with him for a long, long time. Cavan Wilk sympathetically invited me to the DC United home opener on March 19th, promising me a "really fun, Snyder-free pro sporting experience". I stopped and thought back on the finer moments of my 31 years of Redskins fandom. Resigned to the sad state of my NFL franchise and in need of healing, I answered Cavan, confident that my free speech would not be silenced by the likes of Dan Snyder... "¡Vamos United!"

I spell it PHENOMENAL

Deep inside every hoops fan, there is a timer counting down the days until the All-Star Break. It's some subconscious stuff or maybe it's the id, waiting to be sated on unrelenting fury blessed with luck and timing, appearing some time over the weekend. We all know it probably won't be in the Skills Challenge. It could occur in the 3 Point Contest. It's more likely in the Slam Dunk Contest. The Rookie v. Sophomore Game will hold some magic. And the All-Star Game itself might hold the key.

Given history, I'm going with the Slam Dunk Contest.

And with that, go waste your time with this: http://hoopism.com/?p=961.

Best Comic Character(s) in a Sports Movie (Caddyshack Division)

Well Folks,

Award season is in full swing and it is time for us at J.B. Sports Chat to give out own awards. Last year we voted on the Best Sports Move, congratulations.  This year, we are going to determine once and for all the best comedic character in a sports movie!

Over the next few weeks we are going to hold a single elimination tournament of shorts. We have picked 20 comedic characters (or in some cases comic teams like the Hanson brothers) and grouped them into 4 divisions: Caddyshack, Slap Shot, Major League, and Bull Durham.  Division winners will move on to the quarter finals.

Lets get the voting started this week with the Caddyshack division (You Can Vote in the voting box to the right):

The Hanson Brothers - Slap Shot

 


Romeo Posar – Tin Cup

 


Chaz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy – Blades of Glory

Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid) – Kingpin

Willie Mays Hayes - Major League

The Cavs Really, Truly Suck

I feel bad for Antawn Jamison. He was traded from the imploding Wizards to the Cavs mid-season last year in an act of some kindness. Grunfeld wanted to help Jamison get the ring he's been chasing. Whether Jamison deserves a ring for merely being a solid player with iffy defensive skills is another question. Now he's on another team that sucks, completely. He moved from a former playoff team to a now former playoff team.

The Cavs went 61-21 last year. This year, they'll be lucky if they go 21-61. For the remainder of January, they have three games they are more likely to win than compared to the rest: Phoenix, Milwaukee, and New Jersey. They play the Nuggets this Saturday... and if Carmelo gets traded to New Jersey, they'd get to play Carmelo nine days later. February looks a little better for the Cavs: they play the Pacers, Pistons, Clippers, and Wizards before the All Star Break. On the back side, they face Houston and Philly. March is roughly the same, provided the Cavaliers haven't been relegated to the D-League or made a trade for Gerald Wallace. Golden State, Milwaukee, Sacramento, the Clippers (who will likely be without Baron Davis, just because), New Jersey, Detroit, and Charlotte are all teams the Cavs could beat, provided they do things like play defense and score points. April looks even rosier with two games against the Wizards.

All in all, the Cavs really, truly suck.