Blake Griffin is the TRUTH

Of the basketball heads I know, only a handful were not watching the World Series opener. Many missed out on the debut of Blake Griffin. Here's what went down if you were watching ESPN. Oklahoma City put the finishing touches on a hard fought victory over Chicago. The Bulls had two or three bad calls against them, but playing 2.5 on 4 is just not going to win games. The 2.5? Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah (what a defensive performance), and half of Taj Gibson. The Thunder had Ibaka, Durant, Sefolosha's defense, and Westbrook. Game ends. Thunder win. Durant gives a brief post-game interview and says nice things about Derrick Rose.

The Clippers game comes on. It's about three minutes in and (I think) Hubie Brown says something about how it has not been an entertaining game. Just after this, Randy Foye puts up what at first looks like a terrible shot and Blake Griffin goes up. Griffin snags the ball probably 15 inches above the basket with his right hand and slams it in with what can best be described as almighty fury. This basket is Blake Griffin's first in the NBA. Over the next few minutes, he put on a display with Chris Kaman of thunderous jam after thunderous jam. Griffin's first NBA basket actually made me yell "oh shit!" in my apartment so loudly that I may have woken my neighbors in nearby buildings.

Witness:


The Clippers went on to lose, despite Griffin's might on the offensive glass and his twenty points. Why did the Clippers lose? Well, they aren't nearly as deep as the Blazers. Further, Baron Davis takes bad shots early in the shot clock. Vinnie Del Negro is probably not the kind of coach who can rein Davis in - if he tries, Davis will likely pout and shut down. Baron Davis is the life and death of this Clippers team... which is too bad, because the Clips could have a shot at the playoffs.

At least we'll get to witness the almighty fury of Blake Griffin.

NHL Center Ice Sneak Preview

If you are a die-hard hockey fan [who subscribes to Comcast, Time Warner Cable, Cox Communications, Bright House Networks, Cablevision Systems, Bresnan Communications, Charter Communications, Midcontinent and Verizon FiOS, or a number of independent affiliates] you have probably already tuned into the Center Ice Package preview. If you're a casual fan this may have slipped by you, but not to worry - you can still watch free hockey through this weekend!

The Center Ice package is a wonderful thing, but if you're only a fan of the home team, it may not be worth nearly $200. Games that are broadcast locally are blacked out from the NHL Center Ice channels so that they don't compete with local markets. If you happen to be, say a Washington Capitals fan who lives in Texas, this is a great way to watch your team. If you are like me and you will watch any hockey game, regardless of the teams playing [I drove halfway across the country to watch the Quad City Mallards play the Adirondack Ice Hawks and I'm damn proud of it] the free preview weekend is a great way to watch a lot of hockey. Sometimes it's hard for a Caps fan to know who to cheer for [Vancouver Canucks or Minnesota Wild? Luongo or Niemi?] but the beauty is, sometimes you don't have to pick a side, you can just appreciate hockey for the beauty of the sport. Other times, like last night, you get a heads up on who the next NHL player to get a suspension is going to be.




Obviously that is the broadcast from Vancouver, as one can tell from the announcers' support of these fans being thrown out. The Minnesota broadcasters had this reaction:



With Center Ice, you can watch them all. For the record, Minnesota has it right. The fan was probably being a douchebag, but it does not warrant having a professional athlete yank him out of the stands into the tunnel. Look for the NHL to hand down a punishment very soon. Canucks: This is seriously uncool. Center Ice free preview: I am in love with you.

PIF: Week Five Results

Dear Football Fans,

I am officially teetotaling for the rest of the season. Why, you might ask? Because my beloved Redskins are 3-0 when I abstain from confidence juice, 0-2 when I imbibe during the game. Yes, while vacationing in Puerto Rico, I watched professional football at a bar and did not drink a drop during the game. Yes, my last name is still Murphy. So for the record, here's what happened while I was on siesta:

Prediction: BILLS 24, JAGUARS 21 ***WEEK FIVE MISERA-BOWL***

Result: JAGUARS 36, BILLS 26

Its a matter of time before these teams are the Los Angeles Jaguars and the Toronto Bills. A matter of time.

Prediction: RAVENS 17, BRONCOS 10

Result: RAVENS 31, BRONCOS 17

I really want to like the Ravens. They're right up the street from DC, they play good old fashioned hard nosed football, and they are fun to watch. But the fans are such colossal rejects that I perish the thought of donning purple camouflage pants and sitting under a freeway overpass to tailgate a game.

Prediction: CHIEFS 31, COLTS 24 ***GAME OF THE WEEK***

Result: COLTS 19, CHIEFS 9

Fans, I have to apologize. This was in no way a game of the week. This game sucked worse than the Indianapolis night life. During football offseason.

Prediction: REDSKINS 24, PACKERS 23

Result: REDSKINS 16, PACKERS 13 (OT)

See what happens when you don't drink? Your team beats a team they haven't beaten in 22 years. This is the fourth game in five that the Redskins have seen decided on the very last play. Because they hate their fans and they want them all to die of coronaries.

Prediction: LIONS 31, RAMS 24

Result: LIONS 44, RAMS 6

Holy urban blight! You never get the expected when the two worst teams in the two worst cities in America face off. As I write this sentence, 200 more people are moving out of each of these cities.

Prediction: BEARS 20, PANTHERS 7

Result: BEARS 23, PANTHERS 6

I love it when I just nail one of these. See that? That is a work of art. I pulled that prediction out of my ass while sitting in the Fort Lauderdale Airport. Top that.

Prediction: BENGALS 40, BUCCANEERS 10 ***BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK***

Result: BUCCANEERS 24, BENGALS 21

Hey, what do you want? I picked these games while sitting in the Fort Lauderdale Airport.

Prediction: BROWNS 16, FALCONS 13

Result: FALCONS 20, BROWNS 10

This has nothing to do with this game, but Toyota Truck commercials sound like they are narrated by John Goodman's creepy uncle. It's 2010, gas is 4 bucks a gallon. Nobody drives trucks anymore except for new money rednecks. Quit marketing them like they're some proletariat's tool. Nobody uses them to haul lumber or tow loads of rocks, they use them to compensate for their numerous shortcomings as human beings or tailgate. John Goodman's creepy uncle isn't going to make me want to purchase one.

Prediction: TEXANS 24, GIANTS 20

Result: GIANTS 34, TEXANS 10

Hakeem Nicks had a career day catching 12 passes for 130 yards and 2 TDs. It was pretty bad ass.

Prediction: SAINTS 38, CARDINALS 29

Result: CARDINALS 30, SAINTS 20

The Cards pulled this one off without scoring a single touchdown on offense. Three defensive touchdowns. I hope QB Max Hall, who made his first ever start, bought everyone on his defense a steak and lobster meal after this one.

Prediction: TITANS 21, COWBOYS 9

Result: TITANS 34, COWBOYS 27

People are still buzzing about the Cowboys. They're 1-3. Every other team in their traditionally difficult division is 3-2. Tony Romo is poisoning that team with his goofy little Polish-Mexican smile. He's a gimmick and he will die alone, unloved.

Prediction: CHARGERS 30, RAIDERS 19

Result: RAIDERS 35, CHARGERS 27

The Raiders had 9 points on blocked punts alone, which proved to be the margin of victory. Jason Campbell relieved Bruce Gradkowski after he went 1 of 7 passing. Getting yanked for Jason Campbell is like getting dumped for a civil war reenactor: it's embarrassing, and it's only done by someone who has completely given up on their future.

Prediction: 49ERS 23, EAGLES 13

Result: EAGLES 27, 49ERS 24

49ers owner Jed York declared that San Francisco will win the NFC West despite starting the season 0-5. No pressure, though. You're the only team in your division that hasn't made the Super Bowl in the last 10 years, and you're one of only two teams in the NFC that is still winless. 

Prediction: JETS 21, VIKINGS 19 ***MNF***

Result: JETS 29, VIKINGS 20

You know, two Prime Time games being delayed on a count of rain is just not football-like. Maybe they should have put a lid on that monstrosity in New Jersey so those whiny Jets fans won't have to bitch about standing in the rain.

WEEKLY AWARDS

Rookie of the Week: Bucs WR Mike Williams caught 7 for 99 and a touchdown in Tampa's win

Surprise Player of the Week: Lions QB Shaun Hill throwing for 227 yards and three TDs with no interceptions led the Lions to their first victory in ten games

Tough Guy of the Week: Redskins S LaRon Landry
Terrell Owens Memorial Asshole of the Week: Brett Favre for this ridiculous sexual harassment scandal

Bust of the Week: Cardinals RB Beanie Wells had 20 carries for a paltry 35 yards

Celebration of the Week: Marc Colombo falling down during a football dance, which cost his team 15 yards because touchdown dances can't involve players being on the ground.

Special Teams Player of the Week: Raiders RB Rock Cartwright blocked a punt for a safety against the Chargers

Defensive Player of the Week: The entire Arizona Cardinals defense, which facilitated beating the Saints without the offense scoring a touchdown

Offensive Player of the Week: Chicago RB Matt Forte had 166 yards and two touchdowns to lead the Bears to victory over Carolina

Stick a Fork In: The San Francisco 49ers, again; Bruce Gradkowski; The entire city of Dallas

This Week: 6-8

Last Week: 7-7
Season: 37-38-1

So sorry I took a week off, it needed to happen. If I can't relax and enjoy myself once in a while, well, I shouldn't be doing Politically Incorrect Football anymore, should I? I probably shouldn't be anyway. I've seen more people take interest in slam poetry competitions in Mississippi. But whatever. You keep losing money betting on my picks, I'll keep making horrible predictions. See you Thursday for the predictions.

Your pal,

~~~Davemurphy

PIF: Week Five Predictions (Abridged)

Dear Fans,

I know what you're thinking: That asshole never did the results! I bet it's because he had such a shitty week of picks! Well, you're half right. I never did the results because I normally do them while watching Monday Night Football, but this past Monday I was at Sun Life Stadium watching the Dolphins implode against the Patriots. And I've determined that Pats fans are somewhere at the bottom of the food chain between protozoans and Ravens fans.

This week, I'm lax on the analysis because I am travelling. but no worries, I will be back Monday doing what I do best: recounting mistakes I've made. And since I'm stuck in the airport with free wifi, here's the picks for the record. Placing cash wagers based on these picks without the expressed written consent of Davemurphy, JB Sports Chat, and the National Football League is strictly forbidden.

BILLS 24, JAGUARS 21 ***WEEK FIVE MISERA-BOWL***
RAVENS 17, BRONCOS 10
CHIEFS 31, COLTS 24 ***GAME OF THE WEEK***
REDSKINS 24, PACKERS 23 ***UPSET OF THE WEEK***
LIONS 31, RAMS 24
BEARS 20, PANTHERS 7
BENGALS 40, BUCCANEERS 10 ***BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK***
BROWNS 16, FALCONS 13
TEXANS 24, GIANTS 20
SAINTS 38, CARDINALS 29
TITANS 21, COWBOYS 9
CHARGERS 30, RAIDERS 19
49ERS 23, EAGLES 13
JETS 21, VIKINGS 19 ***MNF***

As long as I'm on here, allow me to impart this bit of knowledge on you: Spirit Airlines fucking sucks. Don't ever fly Spirit Airlines.

Last Week: 7-7
Season: 31-30-1

This week I'll be watching the game at whatever bar I can find that plays it. I'll be in sunny San Juan, Puerto Rico. Here's hoping they have futbol americano on the television. If you must know, Chrisco and I are going on a mancation together.

Your favorite something,

Davemurphy

PIF: NFL Week Four Predictions

Dear Gridiron Connoisseurs,

This is a very important week. Week Four always is. Week Four is when the byes start. Four teams will not play this week. Which is good, I was getting pretty damn sick of Dallas and their stinky face. And ugh, Minnesota and all that Brett Favre nonsense. And EVERYONE hates Tampa. Ugh. Kansas City I'll miss this week though. Today I took a personal bye, staying home from work with a bit of headache and nausea. It's the first sick day I've taken in eons. So of course, they were giving free baseball tickets at work. For tonight's game. And I'm sick. Whatever, I'll just pick some football games. Instead of going to a baseball game. For free. If you bet actual money based on these predictions, you will get a urinary tract infection. Here goes:

49ERS (0-3) at FALCONS (2-1)
Let's face it, the 9ers have to win this game. That's good enough for me.
49ERS 20, FALCONS 17


BENGALS (2-1) at BROWNS (0-3) ***OHIO BOWL PART ONE***
Everyone's favorite all-American state pits its practically-Kentucky, crime ridden, blighted southern city of Cincinnati against its Rust Belt, hollowed out, blighted northern city against each other. Neither team has ever won the Super Bowl, both teams have spent most of the last two decades in the basement of the league. Hell, Cleveland wasn't even in the league four of those years.
BENGALS 19, BROWNS 11


JETS (2-1) at BILLS (0-3)
God. Imagine you're one of my cousins in Buffalo. You're 0-3. Your quarterback went to Harvard, which is great if he's your lawyer, but they're not exactly a quarterback factory over there. You have three potential Super Bowl teams in your division. You have thirteen more Chan Gailey-coached games to look forward to, the end of which you will find yourself in the midst of the worst winter in the continental US. Oh, and you live in Buffalo.
JETS 24, BILLS 10


SEAHAWKS (2-1) at RAMS (1-2) ***WEEK FOUR MISERA-BOWL***
Even though he is coming off of his first win, #1 draft pick Sam Bradford is slowly realizing that not only does he play for the Rams, but he now lives in Saint Louis.
SEAHAWKS 27, RAMS 17


BRONCOS (1-2) at TITANS (2-1)
When your best player is Brandon Lloyd, you have a problem. When your third string quarterback is selling more jerseys than your starting quarterback, you have a problem. When your rushing game is weaker than the structural foundation of any building in Port-au-Prince, you have a problem. When you have these three problems, you're the Denver Broncos. And yes, I made a Haiti joke.
TITANS 37, BRONCOS 14


LIONS (0-3) at PACKERS (2-1) ***BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK***
Detroit doesn't stand a chance. And they'll lose this football game, too.
PACKERS 51, LIONS 28


RAVENS (2-1) at STEELERS (3-0) 
These two teams hate each other. But the Ravens have the best pass defense in the league right now, and I'm pretty sure the Steelers are on like their seventh string at quarterback. In fact, I'm pretty sure my sister is their back up quarterback. This game will be won on the ground, my friends.
STEELERS 17, RAVENS 13


PANTHERS (1-2) at SAINTS (2-1)
I love it when these two teams play each other because across the bottom of the screen where they put the score, it says "NO CAR",
SAINTS 27, PANTHERS 17


COLTS (2-1) at JAGUARS (1-2)
It's buy one ticket get the rest of the section free week at EverBank Field. God, what an awful name for a stadium. Don't watch this game, Jacksonville is embarrassing.
COLTS 31, JAGUARS 19


TEXANS (2-1) at RAIDERS (1-2)
The Raiders are like the friend at the party that drinks too much but you have to invite him because he's part of the gang and then he throws up on the girl you're hitting on.
TEXANS 21, RAIDERS 10


REDSKINS (1-2) at EAGLES (2-1) ***GAME OF THE WEEK***
Donovan McNabb goes back to the city that threw him away like an empty can of Cambell's Chunky Soup (tm). If you're rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles this week, you're a douchebag. Or an Eagles fan. Not quite sure which is worse.
REDSKINS 21, EAGLES 14


CARDINALS (2-1) at CHARGERS (1-2)
Yup.
CHARGERS 24, CARDINALS 21


BEARS (3-0) at GIANTS (1-2) ***UPSET OF THE WEEK***
These are two of the oldest and most storied franchises in the NFL. Two of the most storied cities in America. And it will be played in the newest stadium in the league. A little anti-climactic, don't you think?
GIANTS 26, BEARS 21


PATRIOTS (2-1) at DOLPHINS (2-1)
Yours truly will actually be attending this game. This will be my first ever non-Redskins NFL game. I just couldn't turn down an opportunity to heckle Patriots fans from a safe environment.
DOLPHINS 27, PATRIOTS 20

Last Week: 7-8-1
Season: 24-23-1

This week I'll be spreading the Redskins love up the coast a little and I will not be at Mike's. Where are you watching the games this week? A townie bar? Your living room? The stadium? Your jail cell? Leave a comment and share! Best comment will be sent all of my Farmville gifts for the next week. Just kidding, I don't play Farmville, and I probably don't want to be Facebooks friends with the kind of person that reads a sports blog. Losers.

But seriously, hope you're watching with good people in a good place drinking good beer. It's a good week for football. See you Tuesday with the results.

Your Prognosticator Extraordinaire,

Davemurphy